Primitive
by dabbling
Summary: Chakotay is wounded on an away mission, and cared for by a pre-warp, primitive people. He falls in love with his caregiver. Will he be able to leave her? Will the away team succeed in following the Prime Directive? Features Chakotay, but includes nearly all of the characters, but especially Tom, Janeway, Harry, and the Doctor.
1. Chapter 1

Primitive

Chapter 1

Chakotay dug up the wild onions and stuck them in his bag. He liked the feel of the dirt against his fingers: it reminded him of times with his Grandmother as a boy. It wasn't Earth, but being in civilian clothes, and surrounded by trees made him feel like he was home. He took a deep breath and smiled. He wondered if Paris and Kim had the same feeling about this place as he did. He pulled two more onions, then stood and stretched his back. He walked two paces to the left and cried out in shock as the arrow pierced him just below his collarbone.

Tom Paris heard Chakotay's cry and carefully stepped through the trees toward the source of the sound. He heard voices and stopped. Crouching down, he watched from behind a massive tree as the primitive tribesman tended Chakotay's wound, picked him up, and carried him back toward their village. "Paris to Voyager," he whispered into his disguised comm. badge.

"Go ahead," answered Tuvok.

Harry Kim joined him as he relayed his message. "Chakotay has been injured and the locals just carried him toward their village. It looks like they're friendly and are caring for him."

"Acknowledged."

A pause, and then the voice of the Captain. "Tom, do you have your medic kit with you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"You and Harry go to the village to investigate. If you can get a chance, survey Chakotay's wounds and let us know what's wrong."

"Yes, Ma'am," replied Tom. He looked at his friend, who nodded silently, then the two began walking quietly through the woods in the direction of the Imati village.

* * *

T'Lea watched as his Uncles carried the stranger into Sifa's house. He could not forgive himself his mistake. He had been on his first hunt, and the buck had been right there. How could he mistake a man for a buck? But his arrow had flown, and it was too late now to do anything about it. He hoped the man lived, for if he did not, he would not be able to bear the shame of his mistake.

They laid Chakotay on the spare bed and backed away. One man cut the arrow shaft and then stepped back to let Sifa look at the wound. She looked carefully at both sides of the arrow, then nodded at her brother. He grasped the shaft firmly, just above the arrowhead, and both he and Chakotay screamed as he yanked it through the man's body. Taking the bloodied arrow with him, he gave Chakotay a knowing look and left the room.

Sifa worked quickly, cutting back Chakotay's clothing, cleaning the wound, and applying bandages. He stayed conscious throughout the ordeal, but was in too much pain to complain. She heard stifled gasps now and then and thought how brave this stranger must be to bear his pain this way. She finished and eased him onto his back.

"I am Sifa. I will come back later with medicine. You rest, now."

"Chakotay," he whispered, his voice tired and gruff. "I am Chakotay… Thank you."

She smiled at him and stepped lightly out of the room. On the doorstep, she found T'Lea, a look of anguish on his face. She could sense the despair in his heart. "We need herbs, son." She smiled encouragingly and touched his hand. "He will live, T'Lea. The arrow went through muscle. He will live."

The boy felt his heart grow lighter, but knew there was a chance she was wrong. He listened to the list of herbs she gave him, and ran full speed to the garden to collect them.

* * *

Paris and Kim watched from the edge of the forest. There was an open field, and then the village. Smoke curled up from kitchen fires, and there was slow but steady work being done in the gardens and by the modest homes. Paris sat back, dropping completely to the ground. "Well, that's it."

"They seemed friendly?" Harry asked.

Tom nodded. "They really moved quickly to tend to Chakotay. I think they are friendly."

"Could you tell what happened?"

"No. I got there afterwards. When they picked him up, it looked like an… arrow or something…"

Harry frowned. "Arrows aren't very friendly."

"Maybe it was some kind of accident," Tom offered.

"Maybe." They looked at each other a moment, each unwilling to say what they knew they needed to do.

Finally, Tom spoke. "I guess we just walk up, knock on some doors."

"I guess."

Tom punched his friend. "C'mon, who could resist that charming smile of yours?"

Harry shook his head and they walked off.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chakotay was asleep when Sifa returned to change his bandage. She applied the herbal paste to it, and rewrapped it carefully. Her hand rested on his forehead briefly, then traced the tattoo above his eye. Her thoughts wandered. Who was this man, this stranger? Where had he come from?

She washed her hands in a basin and moved back out to the porch. The sun was just beginning to set, and she could see her brother Morwen talking to T'Lea earnestly outside the prayer circle. T'Lea looked more at ease than the last time she'd seen him, but she knew how he felt. With his father gone, T'Lea felt pressured to become a man, to take on his father's responsibilities, to live up to his father's good name. She curled her legs beneath her and looked out at the night sky. This was a beautiful place. She was glad her ancestors had settled here. She began to sing her evening prayer softly.

Voices came from the central passage. She stopped, listening. She saw her brother and T'Lea hurry to see what was going on. Sifa lifted her prayer pendant to the evening star, turned, and went to check on her patient.

A fever was rising, but he woke and spoke her name. "It feels better," he said.

"The herbs numb the pain. Are you thirsty?" She helped him sip water from a glass. "Chakotay," she smiled. "Where are you from?"

Chakotay paused. He could not tell her the truth. The Prime Directive was in play here. "From the other side of the forest. Our crops did poorly, we were gathering what we could from the forest."

Nodding, she remembered Morwen had given her a sack of onions belonging to this man. Her pendant swung down from her neck. Chakotay touched it lightly with his fingers. "What is it?" he asked.

She smiled. "My prayer pendant. Your people do not use them?"

Chakotay shook his head.

"It was made just for me by my Grandmother. It bears my spirit and offers me protection."

"My people have animals as spirit guides."

She showed him the carving on the back side of the pendant. There was the definite image of a bird. It reminded Chakotay of an eagle. He smiled.

There was a knock at the door, and Morwen entered, followed by two more strangers. Sifa spoke with them in the doorway, then allowed the two to enter.

* * *

Tom and Harry went to Chakotay's bedside. "You all right?" Tom asked quietly.

"She's taking good care of me," he answered.

Tom looked around cautiously. "If we can be alone, I can use the med kit."

"I'll ask," Chakotay replied. After a quiet conversation with Sifa, the three men were alone. Tom pulled out his medical tricorder and ran it over Chakotay's shoulder, head, and heart.

"What happened?" asked Harry.

"It was an arrow," Chakotay explained. "I don't know why. I think it may have been an accident. There was a young boy with the men when they rescued me. He seemed upset. I think he may have shot me."

"You have a slight infection," Tom said. "I can give you a hypo to take care of that. Otherwise, it's healing well."

"We should get you back to Voyager," Harry said, while Tom injected the medicine into Chakotay's neck.

"No," said Chakotay. "This is first contact. I would like to stay, learn more about the Imati. I've already learned a few things."

Tom nodded. "It would look suspicious to move you so soon after the accident, anyway. Harry & I can go back, then check on you in a couple of days."

"I told them we're from the other side of the forest. Better check how long it would take to walk that far and back."

"Be careful, Commander," Harry said.

"Take it easy. It will take a while for that to heal," said Tom.

"Thanks. I'll be fine." He watched his friends leave and waited for his new friend to return. He couldn't help but smile.

* * *

Chakotay lay still, listening to the sounds of Sifa and T'lea singing their night prayers. He prayed too, not understanding the words, but understanding the intent. He heard footsteps and looked toward the door.

T'Lea had not spoken a word to Chakotay all day, but he knew he had to tell him what happened, ask his forgiveness. He was nervous, but he summoned his courage and stepped inside.

"I am T'Lea," he said.

"I am Chakotay."

"I am the one who… I made a mistake."

Chakotay smiled. The boy looked to be about 12 or 13. "We all make mistakes."

T'Lea felt relieved. "I was hunting a buck. I saw movement, and thought-"

"I am honored to be mistaken for such a powerful animal." He watched as the tension slipped away from the young man's shoulders. "And I am fortunate to have been led here, to new friends." He slowly repositioned himself in the bed. "You live here?" The boy nodded. "And Sifa?"

"She is my mother."

"What about your father?"

T'Lea set his jaw. "He is gone. He is in the land of hope."

"I'm sorry," Chakotay whispered, searching the boy's face.

"I hope to join him there someday."

A smile. "I'm sure you will."

Sifa's soft voice called from the hall. "T'lea, you have work in the morning."

T'lea offered his hand to Chakotay. Then he turned and left the room. Soon after, his mother entered.

"A fine boy," Chakotay said.

"He is very sorry about what happened."

"I know. It's all right. We spoke of it. It takes courage to admit such a mistake."

She began to peel away his bandage. "It needs another dressing." As she worked, she hummed softly.

"How long has it been, since your husband died?" Chakotay asked.

She was quiet. Her hands gently but firmly pressed a new poultice into place. "Three years. T'Lea was devastated. If it weren't for Morwen,"

"Your brother?"

"Yes. If it weren't for Morwen, I think T'Lea would have shriveled up. But he is becoming a man."

Chakotay winced.

"The medicine will begin working again soon. Can I get you anything to help through the night?"

"I just have to…" Chakotay blushed slightly.

She smiled, and helped him up. They walked together to the outbuilding. After Chakotay finished, she supported him as he walked back to the house. He staggered and swayed, then stopped her. "Oh!" He whispered.

"You have been bleeding. You will regain your strength soon."

Chakotay lifted his dizzy eyes to the sky. He gestured to the brightest star. "Beautiful."

She smiled. "It is Adonna, the watcher."

Chakotay took a tentative step forward. "I'd love to hear the story," he said.

They sat on a log bench. Her arms still supported him so he wouldn't fall over from dizziness. "In the last world, the People were troubled. They were losing the connection to the land, the water, the animals. They were fighting amongst themselves. The People brought their squabbles to Garen, the buck. He listened to their talking. He listened to their noise. When they had said all they could think to say, Garen did not speak. He made them sit in silence. They squirmed. He waited. Some of them began to stomp. Some of them began to cry. Garen got up and walked slowly away. The despairing ones followed him. The Others went back to their noise, their squabbling. Garen brought the despairing ones to Adonna. She listened to their hearts beating. She listened to their fears. She knew of their joys. Garen showed them the land, the water, the animals. The People lived ever under Adonna's listening heart. There was no more noise. No more fighting. There was joy."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"I don't like it," Janeway said. "I wish he wouldn't do these things."

"Captain, he was right to stay a few days anyway, just to be well enough to travel. We wouldn't want to do anything to arouse the interest of the Imati people." Tom explained.

"I agree, Captain." Tuvok added. "Our preliminary research on the Imati indicates that they are a primitive culture. If they became curious, they could easily follow and witness something of our technology."

"And thus violate the Prime Directive, I know, Tuvok, thank you." Kathryn Janeway folded her arms. She looked at Tom. "You're sure he's all right?"

"Yes, Captain. The wound was already healing, I took care of the infection. Unless he has another accident, he'll be just fine."

"Well. Five days, then. It will give us more time to gather food supplies." She looked at Harry. "Only this time, let's beam down a little farther away from the Imati, Mr. Kim."

"Aye, Captain," Harry said.

* * *

Chakotay sat on the porch step with T'lea. Although his arm was in a sling, Chakotay held a flint with one hand and a large rock with the other. He set the flint against a stone and pounded it with the rock. His shoulder screeched with pain, but he didn't let on.

T'lea looked at the flint. He took it and chipped away at it with his own rock. Chakotay sat back and rubbed his sore shoulder. When T'lea had finished, he showed the arrowhead to Chakotay. The two smiled.

"The food is prepared," she said. "After lunch, the men are gathering at the prayer circle. Morwen has asked that you attend, Chakotay."

"I'd be honored." They went inside and sat down to soup. He grinned at Sifa. "Onion soup. I'm glad I could contribute something." Sifa grinned in return.

"It is the third moon," explained T'lea, "the night when Garen dances for the hunters. The night the young ones become men."

Chakotay was silent, but he sensed this would be a bittersweet night for T'lea. The compassion in Sifa's eyes confirmed it.

"I will have to wait until next year," the boy said, then rose from the table and went outside.

"The arrow that hit me," Chakotay said, "was the one meant to make him a man."

"Boys become men even without the rite. Some boys are meant to learn to wait."

Suddenly, there was shouting outside and both Sifa and Chakotay raced to see what had happened. Outside, nearly on the doorstep, lay a massive buck, shot dead with the arrow Chakotay and T'lea had made together. T'lea lay over the massive beast, singing a prayer to its spirit. Morwen and some of the other men had witnessed the event, and all were stunned.

T'lea rose, turned to his mother, and said, "The meat is ready to be prepared."

She nodded, and all of the men, including Chakotay, headed for the prayer circle.

* * *

The wind kicked up again and Harry tapped his comm. badge. "Kim to Voyager."

"Go ahead," replied Tuvok.

"Conditions are deteriorating down here. We can't do much in this weather."

"Acknowledged. Standby for transport."

A few seconds later, all 4 members of the away team were beamed aboard.

* * *

When the men emerged from the prayer circle, a storm was brewing. Chakotay shivered in the breeze, it was such a drastic difference from the stuffy air of the prayer circle. His sweat dried on his forehead, matting his hair against his skin.

Some of the men patted T'lea on the shoulder as they passed him. Chakotay offered his congratulations as well. He had noticed the wary looks of the others, but he had realized that Morwen was the lead man in the village, and the others went along with his decision to recognize T'lea for his deed. Chakotay was glad T'lea had become a man. Over the past several days, he had grown quite fond of him.

Lightning flashed, and it began to rain. As they walked back toward the house, there was some commotion.

"She did not come back with her sister! They had been at the edge of the forest!" A mother cried, holding her young daughter's hand.

The father told Morwen what he knew, and Morwen gave quick instructions to the men gathered there.

Chakotay and T'lea waited and followed Morwen off toward the forest. Chakotay adjusted the sling for his arm. "What is her name?" He asked T'lea.

"We must not speak her name during the night or it will call the evil spirits upon her," T'lea explained. So the group walked in silence, searching the darkness for any sign of the child.

The men spread out, about five meters apart and entered the forest. Lightning illuminated the area for brief interludes, and the rain came down harder. As they approached the river, T'lea began to run. Without slowing, he dove into the water and swam across. Morwen followed, but only waded in. He turned to Chakotay, who was just nearing the riverbank.

"The currents are strong. The river is beginning to flood."

Chakotay nodded his understanding. He knew with his bad arm, he could be of no help in the water. Morwen grabbed the branch of a tree with one hand and waited to grab T'lea with the other. The younger man reached the child and put her on his back. He began to swim back. Chakotay turned toward the men in the forest and shouted "Over here!" Somehow, they heard his voice over the wind and joined the rescue.

T'lea was already exhausted from fighting the current. He grabbed the nearest rock and held on, offering words of comfort to the whimpering child.

One by one, the men entered the water, making a chain of themselves until they reached the two. Morwen's footing slipped and he went under, causing the whole chain to lose stability. Chakotay stepped into the water and pulled him back up. Moving backward, he used his bad arm to grab onto a branch. As T'lea and the child inched their way back toward the riverbank, the water continued to rise. Chakotay was relieved when he felt T'lea grab his waist and pull himself and the child to the bank. Man after man pulled back out of the water, each one exhausted from battling the current.

Suddenly, a branch swept down the river and smacked into some of the men. The whole chain collapsed and the remaining men scrambled for the shore. Chakotay's feet slipped in the mud and he was under. He gulped in water before he even realized what had happened. He fought his way to the surface and took a breath, but with his injury, the current pulled him down again. He felt a strong hand on his good arm as Morwen pulled him back and swam him back to shore.

They rested on the bank momentarily, Chakotay coughing fiercely, trying to get the water out of his lungs. The rain continued to pour and soon Morwen pulled him to his feet. It was a long, stumbling trek back to the house, and both men collapsed on the floor when they arrived. T'lea was already there, changed into dry clothes. He and Sifa began pulling the wet clothes off of the two men.

Chakotay continued coughing and was very little help changing his clothes. Morwen regained his strength and added more logs to the fire. In spite of the intense heat of the flames, the two men were chilled to the bone. Chakotay was placed in his bed, under the covers. Sifa tended him while Morwen and T'lea sat by the fire.

"If there was any doubt at the ceremony, there will be none now," Morwen told his nephew. "There is no greater test of a man than to offer his life for another."

T'lea gave his Uncle a shy smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Status," Captain Janeway asked.

"The storm encompasses half the planet, Captain. It would be dangerous to transport through it." Harry showed her the map of the planet on his viewscreen. The storm system was huge.

"Can we take a shuttle down?"

"Too risky. Not only would it be difficult to navigate the storm, one of the Imati might see it."

The Captain frowned. "Well, we wait, then. I hope you're all right, Commander."

* * *

Chakotay was far from all right. Sifa had been up with him most of the night. He continued coughing, his shoulder wound was reopened and reinfected, and he had a fever. She slept fitfully in the chair beside his bed. He began hacking again and she awoke.

"Chakotay?" she asked.

"It's burning," he whispered, rubbing his hand across his chest.

She frowned with worry and ran her hand through his hair. Then she snapped her fingers. "Moloba root," she said, "I'll be right back." As quickly as she could, she cut the root, boiled water, and made a tea. The rain continued outside the window. T'lea was still asleep, and she would let him sleep as long as he could. Morwen had told her what he'd done, and she was proud of him. Once the tea was ready, she took it in to Chakotay, who was doubled over, coughing. Once he stopped, she helped him sip the tea.

"Tastes like sage," he said, his voice hoarse and raw. "My grandmother used to make me sage tea when I was sick," he explained. He sipped some more and she helped to prop him up in the bed.

She checked his shoulder bandage and frowned. "You should not have gone in the water."

"Believe me, I regret it." Chakotay closed his eyes, stifling another cough.

Sifa searched his features. Within days, Chakotay had woven his way into her heart. She found it hard to believe, but she felt… comfortable… with him. And yet, so many things about him were strange. She wondered if he might be one of the Others. There were stories of Others coming back, rejecting their old ways and joining the Imati.

"Where did you learn all this?" he asked, taking another sip of tea.

She smiled. "My mother."

"Tell me about her," he whispered. "I'd like to hear the story." He couldn't even finish the sentence without coughing again.

Sifa sighed. She rarely spoke of her mother; it seemed too intimate a subject. She knew Chakotay needed a distraction, however, and felt compelled to oblige him.

"My mother was a healer. She learned from her mother. When I was very small, Mother used to take me into the garden with her. She told me the names of the plants, and what ailments they could cure. I never knew the importance of what I was learning, only that my mother loved me and wanted to teach me. When I was about 6 years old, there was a terrible fire. Several families lost their homes, and many people were burned. Mother asked for my help in caring for them. I treated infections, kept them clean and covered. And so I became a healer for our village as well. Over the years I took on more and more responsibilities. When she died, I became the keeper of the books."

Chakotay looked up in surprise. He had not heard that the Imati had a written language. "Books?" he asked.

Her eyes were smiling at him. "We have had all the knowledge written down for centuries. That way, if an accident ever deprives the village of its Masters, there is a way for a young one to learn, take their place."

Chakotay coughed again and asked, "Could you show me?"

She smiled. This stranger was certainly full of surprises. "You wouldn't know how to read the text."

More coughing. "You could show me."

She helped him drink the rest of the tea. "You rest. I will bring a book to you later."

Chakotay wanted to protest, but he could barely keep his eyes open. It had been a long night, and he knew he needed to rest.

* * *

The tea had done its work, and though his fever still persisted, his cough was less frequent. He felt thickheaded, and a little dizzy. Sifa had left a book on the bed next to him. It was old, and quite thick. He carefully reached out and set it in his lap.

The writing was completely foreign to him, but thumbing through the pages, he saw illustrations. The first several chapters were about Imati anatomy. He could see that although they were similar to humans, there were some differences. Moving ahead in the book, he saw that it then progressed into more detailed descriptions of specific kinds of injuries and how to treat them. Scattered throughout the book were also pictures of the kinds of plants used for medicines. Moving toward the end of the book, he came across very different kinds of pictures. Although he had only had his Starfleet medical training, Chakotay could swear that he was looking at diagrams of cells and viruses attacking cells. He tilted his head back against the pillow. The Imati were more advanced than they seemed.

"Finished already?" She teased, bringing him another cup of tea.

"Just looking at pictures," he shrugged. Chakotay wondered if their medical knowledge was so vast, what else the Imati might know. He wondered how freely he could talk to Sifa.

After he had a sip of tea, she leaned in and rested her head on his chest, listening to his lungs. Chakotay liked the feeling. He waited silently until she finally pulled away. "Well?" he asked.

"You're very sick," she said. "But the tea," she lifted the glass to his lips, "is helping."

He smiled. "I think you should listen again." She smiled, but did not comply. "Are there other books? Besides medicine?"

She nodded. "Many. We have many Masters in the village."

"Could I see those, as well?"

"You can ask Morwen. He will be here for the evening meal."

Sifa left the room and went out onto the porch. The rain was softer now, but still coming down steadily. She thought about Chakotay, and decided she must speak to her brother.

* * *

"Have you asked him?" Morwen said quietly.

"No, I didn't want to bring it up. I was afraid he might feel we didn't want him here."

Morwen's living room was simpler than Sifa's; instead of a mantle full of dried herbal medicines, he had only a mandala. The two chairs were simple but comfortable. He had a blanket folded in the corner in case the nights were chilly.

"He is a good man, we have seen that." Morwen had already told his sister how Chakotay hadn't hesitated to jump in the water to save him when he slipped the night before. "Perhaps you are right. He may be one of the Others."

"Wouldn't he have told us?" She asked.

Morwen shrugged. "A hundred years have passed since one of the Others has rejoined us. It is possible that he doesn't know who he is."

Sifa shivered to think that the Others might have finally lost their link with the Imati. For her, this would be insufferable. On the other hand, maybe this would explain her connection to him in so short a time.

"I will ask him," Morwen said.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Captain, I think we have found a window in the storm system. We can beam down and get in to Chakotay," Harry said.

"Good, when?" She asked.

"We'll have to beam down within the next hour," he said.

"Tom, you and Harry be in transporter room 2 by 04:50."

"Yes, Ma'am," Tom said. As he moved away from his station, someone else slipped in to take his place. He and Harry hurried off the bridge.

* * *

When Sifa returned, Chakotay had finally given in to his exhaustion. He slept soundly, but with wheezing breath. She listened to his lungs again. As she rose, she traced a finger over his tattoo again, and then went out to sing her night prayers.

* * *

"We have a problem," Tom announced. The river had swollen 2 meters higher than the last time they'd been on the planet.

Harry whistled slowly. They pulled their rain parkas closer around their faces. "Kim to Voyager," he said, tapping his badge.

"Voyager here."

"The river is up. Can you find us a better place to cross?"

"Scanning… Two kilometers to the Northwest, there appears to be a large sandbar. Perhaps the water will not be as deep in that area."

"Thanks, Tuvok." Harry opened his tricorder and pointed. He and Tom started walking, the mud making their feet slip every two or three steps.

* * *

Sifa ground the fine powder with her mortar and pestle. She carefully tapped it out onto a paper, measured some, and mixed it with water. She added a touch of sugar. Entering Chakotay's room, she gently touched his chest.

"Chakotay?" she waited until he opened his eyes. "I have medicine for you." She waited until he seemed more alert, then spooned it into his mouth. He frowned at the taste, but swallowed it like a good patient. She gave him a drink.

"What," he coughed, "was that?" He sounded breathless.

"It should cure you. You can rest now. I will leave you."

"No!" He protested. He raised a hand to hers. "Stay?"

At his touch, she felt herself drawn, like a magnet. She settled into the chair next to him. His fingers squeezed her hand, and she knew she could never leave him.

* * *

T'lea gave him his next dose of the white paste. Chakotay thought it tasted more bitter this time. "Where is Sifa?" Asked Chakotay.

"She had to find some more of the ingredients for this medicine. It is somewhat rare."

Chakotay looked at the young man and realized he had barely spoken to him since the night of the rescue. "Are you all right?" he asked.

T'lea smiled. "I am fine. Faya is well, too. The little girl."

Chakotay smiled. "I'm so glad." He coughed and realized that his chest felt like there was a weight sitting on it when he tried to breathe.

T'lea looked at him with some concern. "Perhaps if I help you sit up more, you will breathe easier."

Chakotay nodded agreement and they struggled to situate him more comfortably. "T'lea, are you a healer, like your mother?"

He shook his head. "I know something of healing, but I have concentrated my studies on farming, like my father and my Uncle. We are working to keep the land healthy so we will not need to clear any more. This garden has been productive my whole life. I believe I can keep it that way indefinitely."

"You replace the nutrients in the soil?"

T'lea shook his head. "No, that often creates an imbalance that can harm the chain of life. We are working to rotate plants and leave some areas to rest each season so the soil will replenish itself naturally."

Again, Chakotay had the thought that the Imati were more advanced that he had originally thought. "I believe you can do it," he said to T'lea.

T'lea got up and stared out the window.

"Is it still raining?"

"Yes."

"How many days?"

"It's been three days. It will probably continue for several more."

"This is seasonal?"

"Yes. Every year, though usually not so close to the third moon."

Chakotay had another coughing fit. T'lea offered him some tea, then left him to rest.

* * *

Harry & Tom looked out at the rolling river. Their tricorders told them that there was a sandbar stretching across most of the riverbed here, but it didn't take too much away from the risk. The water was running so fast they knew it could easily sweep them downstream.

Harry rooted in his bag and pulled out a rope. Too short to stretch the entire expanse, but long enough to be helpful. He began tying it to a tree trunk. "We'll use this as a tether. At least we can get from here to the sandbar."

Kim tied the rope around his waist and stepped into the rushing water. There was no hesitation; he knew he was a stronger swimmer than Tom. A few steps in, he lost his footing and was working hard, struggling to keep his head above the roaring water as he tried his best to get to the sandbar. At last, his hands felt the muddy ground. He scrambled out of the water and then paused on his hands and knees, coughing and spitting to clear his throat.

"Harry!" Tom was shouting, both hands cupped around his mouth. "Harry, are you all right?!"

Slowly, Kim got to his feet. He gave Tom a thumbs up before untying the rope at his waist and fastening it to the biggest rock he could find. Paris retrieved the rope from the tree and tied it to his waist. Tom made his way across the stream, holding the rope as he walked, slipped, and stumbled to Harry. After a short rest, they repeated the process on the other side of the river.

Finally across the water, they coiled up the rope and put it away. Without a word, the two men hiked into the woods and built a quick and dirty shelter.

"Paris to Voyager," Tom said.

"Go ahead, Tom," the Captain said.

"We've crossed the river. We're calling it a night. Tomorrow, we'll hike into the village."

"Are you both all right?" Janeway asked, concerned.

"Yes, Captain, just tired."

"Good. Keep us posted. Janeway out."

Tom looked at Harry. "I didn't tell her to beam us to the right side of the river next time."

Harry chuckled. Both men knew the storm was the reason for the poor coordinates. "Maybe next time they could send us down with a kayak."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Chakotay opened his eyes to see her leaning over him. She seemed surprised when her gaze fell on his eyes and she realized he was awake. He tried to laugh, but he quickly found it was hard to breathe. His eyelids lowered.

"You must stay awake!" She said urgently. "Until you have had another dose of medicine!"

He felt the paste on her finger, rubbing it against the bottom of his tongue. His mouth watered and he nearly choked. Chakotay swallowed and sucked the rest from her finger. His chest felt heavy and he gave over to exhaustion.

Sifa drew back from him and quietly washed her hands in the basin beside his bed. Her heart was breaking. He was succumbing to the illness, and if he didn't have the strength to take the medicine, he would surely die. She sighed and dried her hands with a towel. At least she had succeeded with one more dose. Perhaps this dose would be the turning point.

"Mother?" T'Lea spoke from the doorway. "I can stay with him. It is time for Shal-wen."

Evening prayers. Sifa nodded at her son. "Thank you," she said, and she rested her hand on his shoulder before leaving the room. She had a lot to pray over tonight. As she walked, her hand was already fingering the pendant at her neck.

* * *

It was midmorning when Paris and Kim arrived at the village. As they headed towards Sifa's house, they were stopped by two of the men of the tribe.

"Our friend was injured several days ago. He was in that house," Tom said, pointing to Sifa's home.

"Morwen will speak to you first." One of the men said, and led them to another house.

The elder of the tribe sat inside, as if he'd been waiting for them. He raised his eyes and watched the two men enter, then stared at the hearth. "You are friends of Chakotay?"

Paris, the ranking officer, spoke. "Yes, we've come to accompany him home." Tom's face grew worried. "Is he all right?"

Morwen was silent a moment, allowing his mind time to frame the words he was about to speak. "It is a rare and joyous thing when one of the Others returns to our village."

Tom and Harry glanced at each other.

"Do your people tell the story of the parting?" Morwen asked.

Again, the Starfleet officers shared a glance.

"In our story, there was a great sadness, a great emptiness afterward. Crops wilted in the fields; the river ran low and it did not rain for two seasons. Our people struggled, but we survived. The rains returned, and soon the river and the plants learned to thrive again, as did our people."

He continued. "My grandfather told me of a time when one of the Others came to the village. He was a boy at the time, and the man who came was bruised and broken. The elders of the village cared for the man, and he eventually became one with The People again. As I said, it is a rare thing for one of the others to return."

"You think Chakotay… is one of…?" Tom asked. Harry could feel a knot in his gut.

The man answered with a brief, but powerful stare. "Chakotay is not well. When a child of our village became trapped in the swollen river, he was one with us as we pulled her out. He slipped and was pulled under. My sister is caring for him, but…"

"Take us to him, please." Tom insisted. Morwen nodded at the men who had brought them to him, and they led Tom and Harry to Sifa's house. A simple call at the door announced that she had guests. They walked them right to the room he was sleeping in.

"You have returned," she said quietly.

"We came to take him home," said Tom. "What happened to him?" As Paris spoke, he examined Chakotay with his eyes. He could see without his tricorder that he was struggling to breathe. He also saw that she'd done all the right things.

"He fell in the river. He had some water in his lungs. Now the fluid in his lungs is building."

"Pneumonia," Tom said, and Harry's face snapped toward his in recognition.

"What have you done for him?" Tom asked, all medic now, and not caring if she knew it.

"We have a medicine…" She reached down to the bedside table and picked up the pestle with remnants of the paste inside.

Tom took the small bowl from her and smelled the medicine, then tasted it. "Is it helping?"

She nodded. "I think so."

Tom turned to Harry with a pleading look. He really had to examine Chakotay alone.

"You must be exhausted. Look, we're here now. Let us stay with him a while, and you get some rest."

"I am all right," Sifa said quietly. She had no desire to leave her patient, who in a few short days had become much more to her than a patient.

"Just a short break," Harry said. "If anything happens, I'll come get you, I promise," he said.

After a few more exchanges, she was finally convinced. She placed her hand on Chakotay's cheek, and then left the room.

Tom had the tricorder out before Harry even had the door completely shut. "It is pneumonia." He finished the scan and then turned to the table, where he'd set the pestle back down. He scanned the paste. "It's plant-based. Harry? This medicine, it has penicillin in it."

"It does?" he asked.

"Yes, all the components are there," Tom commented, studying his tricoder. He turned it off. "The only thing I can do for him is up the dose," he said with a frown.

"Well, then do it, Paris," Harry told him. "We don't know how much time we have before one of the Imati come back."

Quickly, Tom prepared the hypo. With a hiss, the medicine went into Chakotay's neck. Tom hid the technology in his bag and turned to Harry. "Someone needs to inform the Captain," he said.

With a nod and a glance at the Commander, Harry left the room.

Tom's face was grim. "You'd better pull through this, Chakotay, or I know one Klingon who'll never forgive me."

Chakotay didn't move.

* * *

A/N Thank you for reading! This is the first ST story I've ever posted, and I would love to know what you think so far. Reviews always help keep me motivated to write more.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

After walking carefully through the village, Harry found an old storage building that sat at the edge of the town. He checked once more that he hadn't been followed, stepped inside, and tapped his comm badge. "Kim to Voyager."

"Go ahead, Mr. Kim," Janeway said.

"We found Chakotay, Captain. He has pneumonia. The villagers have been treating him, but he's not doing well. Tom is with him now."

Janeway pressed her fingers against her temple. "Dear God," she breathed quietly.

"Captain, he's too sick to bring back without violating the Prime Directive."

"Maybe we could send the Doctor," she mused aloud.

"There is another storm system brewing. It would be inadvisable to try to transport the Doctor through the storm. If his mobile emitter is damaged…" Tuvok spouted from his station on the bridge.

"Harry," the Captain said.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"If Tom thinks the Doctor is needed, I'll take the risk."

"Aye, Captain. I'll let him know when I return. Captain? There is one more thing."

"What is it, Harry?"

"When Tom analyzed the medicine… they were treating him with penicillin. The Imati seem more advanced than we thought."

"That's good news. Look, Harry. I want you to go back and talk to Tom. Then I want him to contact the Doctor and me. We'll develop a plan of action from there."

"Aye, Captain. Kim out."

* * *

Chakotay slept, and Tom sat beside him. Harry had come and gone, and Paris had decided to postpone the call to the ship. He needed to see how Chakotay responded to the hypo he'd given him. His breathing didn't seem as labored, and Tom was encouraged.

Sifa returned, and her steps were almost silent. Tom got up and stepped out of her way, allowing her to examine her patient. At the sight of her compassionate eyes, he knew she cared for his friend. Chakotay had won over her heart.

"He has improved," she commented.

Tom nodded. "He's breathing easier," he said.

"The medicine is working."

"Yes, it seems to be." Tom gave her a smile, and caught her sigh of relief. "You know, I really have to thank you, for taking care of him."

Sifa shook her head. "We are made to care for others."

Tom's smile widened. "It's lucky for us that you feel that way. I'm Tom," he said, offering his hand.

"I am Sifa." She gave him a timid handshake.

"You know, I never expected this. After he got hurt, we just thought we'd come back and take him home. I had no idea he was in such… bad shape."

"Chakotay cannot keep from helping others," she said.

"That's what your brother… the chief? said, that he was helping rescue a little girl? Is she all right?"

Sifa smiled. "She is fine. After she slept, she went back to running and playing." They both found places to sit and continued their conversation. "Chakotay said you live on the other side of the forest."

"Yes, that's right," Tom agreed.

"In your village, what is it like?"

"Well…" Paris' mind raced. He didn't want to accidentally contradict anything Chakotay might have told her. "We all have different… uh… roles in our community. Different jobs."

"And what is Chakotay's job?" She asked earnestly.

Tom cleared his throat. "Uhm, he's kind of… a leader… uh… kind of like your brother, I guess. We go to Chakotay when we need… uhm… guidance."

Sifa nodded with satisfaction. She knew Chakotay was a man of importance. She could sense it. She could easily picture him as the spiritual leader of his people.

"And what is your… job, Tom?"

"Uhm, I… I'm kind of like you, though not so good at it. I help people when they're sick."

"And Harry?"

"Harry?" Tom thought hard, trying to figure out what she might relate to that wouldn't divulge too much. "Harry's a… Harry's a builder."

Again, she nodded. Perhaps the Others weren't so different from The People after all!

* * *

Harry returned at the end of a long, hard day of working with the other men of the village. They were erecting a new home for one of the families, and he had volunteered to help. Chakotay had continued to improve throughout the day, and Tom took the opportunity to leave the Commander and call the ship.

Tom made his way to the storage building Harry'd told him about. Again, it seemed vacant and the coast was clear. He stepped inside and tapped his badge. "Paris to Janeway."

"Tom!" Janeway said. She was in her quarters, finally taking a short break from bridge duty. She set her glass of wine down and called the Doctor, making it a three-way communication. "How is he?" She asked.

"Commander Chakotay is improving. I think he's out of danger. Doc, the medicine they have is good stuff. I'll show you the data when I get back. I don't think I'll have to use the hypo again, as long as he can take their medicine orally."

"Good," Janeway said. "The less we use our technology, the better. You've been able to follow the Prime Directive?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Tom said, smiling.

"How is Chakotay's respiration?" the doctor asked. "What is his oxygen level?"

Paris answered the questions to the Doctor's satisfaction.

"Mr. Paris, you will contact me if his condition worsens."

"Absolutely, Doctor. If he hadn't been improving, I would have contacted you a lot sooner."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Chakotay stirred, and Sifa's heart soared. She reached out and touched his cheek. He blinked and opened his eyes. "Oh," he whispered.

She smiled at him.

No matter what he did, Chakotay couldn't find any strength in his voice. "I feel terrible," he whispered.

She nodded sympathetically. "You are improving," she said quietly.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Your lungs filled with fluid."

"Pneumonia," he breathed.

"That's what Tom called it."

"Paris? Tom is back?"

"And Harry," she said, nodding. "They have been worried about you."

"Sifa, I…" Chakotay licked his lips. "I'm thirsty."

She grinned and held him while he sipped from a water glass. Next, she instructed him to swallow more of the paste. He made a face. "That's terrible," he said.

Sifa smiled. "It tastes bitter, but it is helping you heal." Chakotay took her hand and held it for a moment. Sifa looked down. "I will get your friends. They will want to talk with you." Reluctantly, he let her go. Chakotay rested his eyes until Tom and Harry came in. Sifa graciously backed out of the room, giving the three privacy.

Tom snuck his tricorder out and scanned Chakotay with satisfaction.

"Aren't you going to give me a hypo or something?" Chakotay asked.

"Actually, no," Tom replied. "She just gave you this, right?" he asked as he held up the little pestle with the paste inside.

"Yes."

"Then you don't need anything else. Sifa knows exactly what she's doing. In fact, if the Doc ever finds out about her, he may replace me."

Chakotay nodded. "Their knowledge is advanced," he said.

"What do you mean?" asked Harry.

"They have books… Sifa showed me one. It was medical… Tom, there were diagrams at the cellular level."

"I think you're delirious," Tom said. "These people live off the land. They have knowledge, sure, but they simply don't have the tools to study cells."

"Maybe they used to," Chakotay said. "Or maybe the knowledge was given to them by another race."

"I suspected as much," Harry said. "The building today…the mortar for the hearth was… well, I think it was more than mere cement. I think the chemicals created an electron bond… but without a tricorder, I couldn't prove it."

"We have to adhere to the Prime Directive," Chakotay warned. "No matter what we suspect, we simply don't have proof."

"You should rest, Chakotay," Tom said.

"Me, too," announced Harry. "I have to report bright and early. We're supposed to finish that building tomorrow."

"I'm glad you're… helping them," Chakotay said. He said goodbye to Harry, and then called to Tom before he left the room. "Tom, ask Sifa if she would…"

Tom gave him a knowing nod. "Commander, forgive me if I overstep, but you need to be careful."

"What?"

"You and she have something going," Tom said.

"Don't be ridiculous. I've only been here a few days."

"Commander, when she looks at you…" Tom frowned and scratched his head. "Look, I'm sorry. Just, be careful, Chakotay. It's hard enough just following the prime directive. You don't need to break her heart, too." Tom shook his head. "You don't believe me."

"I don't," Chakotay said, "but I did listen. Thank you, Tom."

"I'll see you in the morning," Paris said, and left the room.

Chakotay closed his eyes and tried to rest; he knew his body needed it to recover. His mind was spinning. He had dismissed Paris' words, and he didn't believe that Sifa had feeling for him, but the truth was he had feelings for her.

Maybe it was just the circumstances, the way she cared for him, but something about this place made him feel at home. And Sifa's kindness and intelligence had him reeling.

"Tom said you wanted to see me?" Her sweet voice made him smile.

Chakotay opened his eyes. "I wanted… I was hoping… you would sit with me a while?"

The corners of her mouth turned up, and she said, "certainly."

Chakotay took her hand. As he felt the warmth of her hand against his, he relaxed and drifted back to sleep.

* * *

After a few more days under Sifa's care, Chakotay was on his feet again. The monsoons were over, and he promised T'Lea he would help tend the garden. The boy directed him, and watched over him, keeping him from over-exerting himself. Tom and Harry both joined the men of the tribe, putting finishing touches on the new building. It was already habitable, but Morwen explained that the family could not live in the house until their spirit protectors had given permission. The artisans came with carvings of what they were calling spirit protectors, and the builders incorporated the carvings into the outer structure of the house. Once this was done, there would be a ceremony in which the protectors would grant their permission.

As Tom worked alongside the others, he was continually reminded of the bits and pieces of Chakotay's culture that he'd learned about.

At the end of the day, Tom and Harry sat together by the hearth. Chakotay had asked for a few more days before returning to the ship, and Janeway had granted it.

"I'll be glad to get back to my quarters," Harry said. "I miss my bed."

"I miss B'Elanna."

"Why is Chakotay dragging this out?" Harry finally asked.

Tom bit his lip. He felt to reveal what he knew would be a betrayal. Then again, Harry was his best friend. "The oldest reason in the book," Paris muttered under his breath.

"What?" Harry asked.

"You weren't supposed to hear that."

"But I did. You think he and Sifa?"

Tom shrugged. "He sure wants to spend a lot of time with her."

"Well, we're heading back soon, whether he likes it or not. He can't make Voyager wait forever."

* * *

The rains had stopped at last, and Chakotay and Sifa found themselves sitting quietly on the roof, staring at the stars. He wore an open vest, but no shirt. She wore a sleeveless tunic that accentuated her curves. He admired her figure as if it were fine art. She turned and caught his stare, but instead of turning away this time, she smiled shyly and raised her hand to his cheek. He held it against his face, feeling the warmth of her skin on his. They stared in each other's eyes, noting the variations of color, how the light reflected here and not there. Suddenly, Chakotay found himself locked against her in a passionate kiss. He hadn't even thought about it, it had just happened. The taste of her against his lips made him feel complete. Startled, she pulled away from him, her face a question.  
"That is how my people show they care for one another," he explained.

She smiled, this time teeth and all. "I liked it." She leaned into him and their lips met again. Her hand traced down his neck, his chest, and she laid her whole arm against his abdomen.

Chakotay gasped in shock and ecstasy. Tiny tentacles tickled his every nerve as they pierced his skin and locked them together intimately. Her arm was warm against his skin, and the heightened tingling of his nerves blocked any pain. He lost himself again in the moment. Minutes, hours, days might have passed. At last he felt a sadness as she disengaged herself from him. Although she was still in his arms, he felt that he had lost something.

"That is how my people show they care for one another," she whispered.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her and wept. "I… I have to go back," he finally managed to whisper.

Tears welled in her eyes, as well. "I thought…"

Chakotay stroked her cheek with his hands. He kissed her again. "Come with me," he pleaded, knowing how unfair it was to ask her such a thing.

"Chakotay, this is my home, my life."

He hung his head sadly. "I know. I'm sorry."

"You could stay here," she said.

He shook his head. "Sifa, in my tribe, with my people… I am…"

"A leader, like Morwen," she said for him, remembering her conversation with Tom.

Chakotay nodded and sighed. "Yes, something like that. I can't abandon them."

She stiffened. "I… I understand. I'm sorry, Chakotay."

Pain sheared his heart in two as he watched her climb stiffly down the ladder and into the house.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Three weeks later, Chakotay was on the bridge. It seemed the farther the ship got from the Imati, the more withdrawn and depressed he became. He did his job, but there was no heart in it. He was simply going through the motions.

"Commander?" Paris was asking him.

"Yes, Tom, I'm sorry. What is it?"

"I said Engineering is requesting an all stop so they can inspect the Warp Drive again."

"Again?" He complained. "I'm going down there. Mr. Tuvok?" Chakotay left the Captain's chair, which was instantly filled by Commander Tuvok. He walked to the turbolift and, after giving it instructions, rode in an angry silence all the way to engineering.

"B'Elanna, what the hell's going on down here?!" he barked.

She stood up in shock. Chakotay never spoke to people that way. "The Warp Drive is malfunctioning again. I need to have a look at it."

"It seems to me you've already had a look three times in the last three days!"

"I need another look," she said, quelling her anger and staring him down.

"Why can't you just buckle down and get it right?!"

"I'm doing my best, _sir._ We all are. Voyager needs a total refit, and as you know, there's no place to get one in the Delta Quadrant."

Chakotay's eyes scanned the interested crewmen around him. He took B'Elanna's arm and walked her a few steps away, where he lowered his voice. "I'll stop the ship, B'Elanna, but you'd better fix it this time."

Her anger got the best of her, but she remembered her crewmen and kept her voice low. "Maybe if you'd told me you were going to take a vacation on that planet I could have overhauled it then."

"In case you didn't hear, I nearly died down there."

"Yes, and then you found every excuse in the book to extend your stay," she countered.

"I'm putting you on report for insubordination."

"Whatever you say, _Commander_."

Suddenly, without warning, Chakotay swayed. He seemed to gasp for air, and would have fallen if it hadn't been for B'Elanna's strong arms catching him and guiding him to the floor. She tapped her comm badge. "This is Engineering, medical emergency! Beam commander Chakotay to sickbay!"

* * *

"What the hell's going on, Doctor?" Janeway demanded. Chakotay was on a biobed, resting quietly under a thin blue blanket.

"I'm afraid I can't divulge that without the Commander's permission," the Doctor replied.

"Fine. I'll just go get his permission." Aggravated, she stepped quickly to her first officer's side. "Well, Commander? Is this some kind of relapse or something?"

"Captain, we're… uh… not really sure."

She raised her eyebrow. "Oh?" With a glance back at the Doctor, she continued, "I was under the impression that the Doctor knew and just had an issue with confidentiality."

Chakotay's cheeks colored. "Captain… he… the Doctor thinks I'm… I'm pregnant."

Her jaw dropped. "What?" She turned to the doctor. "What? How is that even possible?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, but just as quickly she stopped him. "Scratch that," Janeway said. "How do you know he's pregnant?" she asked.

"Well, in addition to elevated hormone levels and other chemical signs, there is a life-form gestating in his abdomen."

"A parasite?" She asked, looking back and forth between the two men. Chakotay looked away.

"I thought the same thing at first," said the doctor. "But look," he said. He pulled up a DNA analysis of the fetus and compared it to Chakotay's by overlaying it with his. "Half of the DNA is Chakotay's."

Livid, Janeway spun on her heel to face her first officer. "You mated with them?! You know the rules about—"

"I didn't, Captain."

"Don't lie to me Chakotay. You're telling me you conceived without-?" She spun back to the doctor. "They did it to him? Drugged him, impregnated him?"

The Doctor shrugged. "We don't know."

"But Mr. Paris didn't detect any of this, and he was monitoring Chakotay's health the whole time!"

"Not the last few nights," Chakotay said quietly. "My condition had improved, and I didn't let him."

"But how could they have done this to you?" She asked.

He was very quiet. "Kathryn," he began, "I may have… inadvertently…"

"What are you trying to say? That this was an accident? Were you under the influence of something? Drugged? Intoxicated?"

"No, Kathryn."

"Do me a favor and spit it out, Chakotay. I'm getting a headache." She rubbed her temples to illustrate her point.

"Captain, when I was ill, Sifa cared for me. She was very kind, and we had… a lot in common." He swallowed hard. "The Imati are very similar to humans… I guess I assumed we were the same."

"Are you coming to a point with this?"

"The night before we left, Captain… I only kissed her, I swear that's all I did! But she… They are different from us, after all."

"Are you saying you remember the event?" The Doctor asked. "I'll need you describe it in detail. I can compare your account with information on the various species we've encountered and perhaps…"

Janeway sighed heavily. "Okay. You've given me your explanation and I'm still courting the biggest headache of my life. What do you plan to do, Chakotay?" She ran her hands through her hair. She forced a smile and softened her voice. "You're with child. I suppose you plan to… go through with this."

Chakotay nodded. She knew him well. An abortion was out of the question.

"I have warned Commander Chakotay that to attempt to carry the fetus to term is reckless and incredibly dangerous, possibly even life-threatening." The Doctor was indignant.

Janeway frowned. "Doctor, give us a moment, would you?" She asked quietly. Angrily, the Doctor nodded and walked to his office. The Captain turned to her friend. "Chakotay, I know how you feel about… the child."

He nodded, even though he knew she had no idea how he felt. Already there was an overwhelming need to fiercely protect his child.

"But Chakotay, the Doctor has a point. What if humans and Imati are not so compatable? What if the only way the child can live is if you… die?"

"Human pregnancies are risky, too, Captain. And what if there are no complications? You're only considering the bad. What about the good?"

"Chakotay, human _males_ don't carry a baby to term. You're simply not equipped to go through this without _any_ complications."

"I trust the Doctor," Chakotay said. "He'll think of something."

With another sigh, she gave him her best effort at a smile. "Then I will trust him, too. Congratulations, Chakotay. You're going to be a father."

He finally smiled, and she broke into a huge grin. "Captain, this is… unusual… please, don't tell anyone? I'm not… ready for that, yet."

"Whatever you say."

* * *

A/N I'd love to hear some reviews! Please?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The Doctor released him to his quarters, and Chakotay spent the evening deep in thought. He laid out his things, and called out in prayer. "Acuchimoya. We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers and from the bones of our people. But perhaps there is one powerful being who will embrace me and give me the answers I seek."

"I am with child," he said quietly. "The mother is already far behind us, and does not know of our child. I am unable to go to her, my crew is depending on this ship, on me, to get them home. I have been warned that to carry the child may take my life, and yet I cannot put my needs above the baby. I am honored to carry a life within, I am guilty not to share this joy with its mother, and I am terrified of what the future may hold. I ask for guidance, to bring peace to my troubled spirit, for my sake and for the sake of my child."

Having spoken, Chakotay pressed the smooth stone between his palms and closed his eyes in concentration. He seemed not to hear the chirp of the door alert, or the swish when the doors opened. He sat stone still, seemingly focused on his prayer.

Chakotay broke the silence. "Breaking and entering?" He said quietly, a touch of anger in his tone.

"I was worried about you," B'Elanna said.

Chakotay silently completed his prayer while she stood watching. He rolled up his things and got to his feet, holding the items reverently with one hand. "I'm fine," he said.

"Chakotay, you collapsed."

He put his prayer things away, then turned to her. He gave her a small smile. "Look, B'Elanna, I appreciate your concern. And I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier. I suppose it was all part of the… illness. Suffice it to say, I'm fine now, and the Doctor has cleared me for work in the morning. Thank you."

"So that's it? You're fine now, and that's it?" She shook her head. "You sure know how to feed the rumor mill."

"People will talk, one way or the other," he said with a shrug.

"Wouldn't you rather they talk about the truth?"

Chakotay sighed. "In this case? No."

"Chakotay," she said quietly. "If there's anything you need, you know I'm always here."

He smiled. "Thank you, B'Elanna."

* * *

"He wouldn't tell me. Tom, the man collapsed in front of me, and now he says he's fine."

Paris held her in his arms as she spoke. "Maybe he is. There are a lot of minor things that can add up to make someone get dizzy, lose their equilibrium… maybe the Doc fixed him up."

"Maybe," she said with a sigh. "But, there is something else."

Tom moved closer, waiting for her to elaborate.

"When I went to his quarters, he was praying. Tom, I've known Chakotay a long time. I've seen him pray, and, well… something serious is on his mind."

"You think it's whatever is wrong with him."

"I don't know what else might have him so upset."

"B'Elanna, I didn't want to say anything, but… when we were on the planet… There was a woman down there. Chakotay really seemed to… connect with her. Maybe he misses her. Maybe he regrets something he said, or… something he didn't say."

"Yeah, maybe."

"It seemed like the whole village turned out to say goodbye when we left. She wasn't there."

"Oh," she said, as the plausibility of his theory sank in. "Maybe you're right, Tom."

* * *

Chakotay was exhausted in the morning. His sleep had been full of fitful dreams, dreams of Sifa and of the baby and of dying in childbirth. It seemed his prayers had not been answered, and he was full of worry. It was a new kind of worry, too. His hectic thoughts were accompanied by waves of powerful emotion. He cried twice before he even had a cup of coffee. And to top it off, he thought he saw a slight bulge in his belly. He laughed with relief as he donned his uniform, thankful that the black would mask his baby bump. He fought back the raging emotions that seemed to change course as quickly as his thoughts. He had to do his work. He had to keep up appearances.

"Bridge," he said as he entered the turbolift.

* * *

T'Lea was concerned about his mother. Since the Others had left, she had hidden herself away, only emerging for communal prayer. She wouldn't even leave to tend patients. Instead, she prepared the remedies and sent him with instructions for their care.

He hadn't seen her in such despair since his father died. He sat at the table as she served the meal, and he determined to find out why.

"Mother," he said.

"Yes, son?"

"Is it Chakotay?" he asked. He saw the pain flit across her face at the mention of his name. He sat back. "He's gone, Mother. There is no purpose to this. He's not coming back."

A tear fell from her eye, and she turned away. "I know."

The boy's frustration emerged in anger. "Then why are you moping so?! Nothing in our village is any different than it was before they came! You were happy then, why can't you be happy now?!"

"It is not that simple!" she cried. "You- you don't know! You've never shared Enewi—" she stopped speaking. She clamped her mouth shut and turned to the hearth.

"You… I don't believe it." T'Lea rose to his feet.

"Where are you going?"

"Out." The teen marched purposefully out of the house, and Sifa burst into tears.

Enewi was the Imati term for making love. It was the most intimate of all acts of love, and once two people shared Enewi, they were bound together for life. The act of Enewi caused physical changes within the participants, and a period of bonding followed for weeks afterward. There were stories, tragic stories of lovers who were wrenched apart during the bonding period and did not survive the separation.

He worried about his mother. She didn't seem so affected physically as the stories had led him to believe. Then again, Chakotay was not Imati. Perhaps that lessened the strength of the bond. Also, she had first bonded with T'Lea's father. As a young man, T'Lea simply did not know enough about Enewi to know if there were variations in the strength of the bond under these varying circumstances.

He was angry, as well. Chakotay had impressed them all with his kindness, with how easily he fit in. But he was not Imati. He was a stranger. The very fact that he could share Enewi with Sifa and then leave was proof of that.

He muttered the greeting at Morwen's door, wiped his feet, and entered. His Uncle was happy to see him, and greeted him warmly.

"I have questions," T'Lea said. "Questions about Enewi."

Morwen was joyful at first, thinking the boy had chosen a mate. But the troubled look on his face negated that possibility. He offered his nephew, his adopted son, a place by the hearth.

T'Lea struggled for a moment. It was not customary to share knowledge of others' intimate behavior in conversation. He felt he was about to shame himself.

"Mother has been…"

"Without joy," Morwen finished for him.

"I found out why," T'Lea said. "She and Chakotay…"

"He took her joy," Morwen interrupted, sparing the boy from divulging more.

"Uncle," T'Lea spoke again, "The bonding… I am afraid for her."

Morwen nodded, and his forehead creased with worry. "I will speak with her. She may be in need of a healing," he said quietly.

"There is a healing for it?"

"When two people cannot bond afterwards, sometimes the body is deprived of… chemicals it needs to survive. There is a healing that can provide a… substitute for the chemicals. The patient will suffer, but will live."

"She doesn't seem ill," T'Lea said. "Is it because he was the second?"

"I don't know," Morwen answered. There were too many possibilities. Sifa could be healing herself; she was the Master of healing, after all. "I will go to her. Perhaps you should stay here, T'Lea."

"Thank you, Uncle."

Morwen touched the boy's cheek and headed out the door. As he walked to his sister's house, he thought of the other possibility: Chakotay wasn't one of the Others, after all. The Others would know the power of Enewi; would know of the need for bonding. He paused at her door. This was uncomfortable. People should not speak of such things. After a deep breath, he called out his greeting and entered.

She still sat by the hearth, sobbing quietly.

"Sister, I have come to help," Morwen said.

"You cannot help me," she said, her voice as flat as the table behind them.

Morwen struggled with the proper way to frame his words. "Sister, I have spoken to T'Lea."

She sobbed again, and he stroked his stubbly whiskers. "I was foolish," she cried. "I thought he was—"

"It is done," Morwen said, cutting her off. "Now, we must heal."

"I don't want to heal," she admitted. "If I can't have joy, I'd rather die."

Morwen nodded sadly. "You have joy, my sister... my dear Sifa... but you are broken and in need of healing. Let me help you."

"I have been taking the remedy," she said quietly, "but I still feel as though my heart is nothing more than a cairn of broken glass."

Morwen nodded. He touched his hand to her cheek, and she pressed her face against the warmth of his palm. "I know," he said. "I will help you, Sifa."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Chakotay, are you all right?" The Captain asked, gripping his forearm.

He was grateful to be in his chair. He turned to her with bleary eyes. "Captain, I think I need the Doctor," he admitted in a desperate whisper.

"Tom?" She said. "Escort Chakotay to sickbay."

"Aye, Captain," Tom said, and supported Chakotay by pulling one of the man's arms over his shoulders as they walked off the bridge. Everyone watched the scene with concern.

Janeway completed the planetary survey they were working on. As she did her work, she thought about Chakotay's secret. She and the Doctor were the only ones who knew, and even though he had managed to perform his duties dependably, she had noticed the emotional turmoil he'd been in. For weeks, Chakotay had suffered quietly, the only observable evidence of his condition the anger or sadness or fear in his voice. She had noticed, too, how he absently massaged his abdomen with his left hand while he worked with his right.

* * *

Chakotay lay on the biobed, sweating profusely and shivering at the same time.

"I need Mr. Paris to assist me," the Doctor told Chakotay.

The Commander nodded, and watched the hologram turn to Tom. "Mr. Paris, Chakotay is pregnant. We've been monitoring his condition for weeks, but now, his body appears to be rejecting the fetus."

Dumbfounded, all Paris could do was nod.

"Get me a tricorder reading and prepare a hypo with 2cc's of Dramomacozine."

Paris rushed to follow the Doctor's orders, while the Doctor studied the three dimensional display in front of him. He tapped a few buttons on the console and stared at the changes with a worried face. "His hormonal levels are all over the map. His thyroid levels are all over the place, and adrenaline is off the charts."

Chakotay began to hyperventilate as a rapid beeping alarm went off. The Doctor left the display and rushed to his patient. He grabbed the hypo from Tom, tapped the buttons on it, and gave Chakotay a shot.

The beeping stopped, and they both stared at Chakotay, worried. He'd lost consciousness.

The Doctor tapped his Comm badge. "Captain, I need to see you immediately," he announced.

"On my way," Janeway replied.

* * *

"Captain, I don't understand what's happening to him. There are some aspects of this that are like any human pregnancy, but his glands are turning chemical production on and off in what seems like completely random patterns. As soon as I counteract the overproduction of something, his body shuts it off completely, and then I have to replace what's missing. He's drifting from one life-threatening emergency to another almost constantly. I can barely—" Another alarm beeped. "Keep up!" he shouted, and ran back to Chakotay's side to evaluate and tend the next crisis.

"What can I do? How can I help you, Doctor?" Janeway asked.

The Doctor administered another hypospray and gave Paris further instructions. He went back to the Captain. "I need more information. Without understanding what's going on, I can't save him. I need to talk to the Imati."

"Oh, Doctor, the Prime Directive—"

"It won't violate the Prime Directive to ask a question or two," the hologram argued.

"Captain, when we were there," Tom offered, "There was evidence that the Imati are not as primitive as they seem."

"Yes, Mr. Paris, I read the reports. Evidence, but not proof." She looked at her first officer with concern, and then at the Doctor. Janeway tapped her Comm badge. "Janeway to Tuvok. Set a course for the fourth planet of the Adonnis System. We're going back to the Imati."

Tuvok's voice rang out clear through the communicator. "Aye, Captain."

* * *

Morwen and T'Lea tended to Sifa as best they could, but even with the medicine, she was falling ill. Her skin had paled, and her eyes had dimmed. No matter what they tried to do to help her, to show her the abundance of life around her, she couldn't break free of her despair.

T'Lea was becoming angry.

On this night, nearly six weeks since Chakotay's departure from the village, the young man heard his mother cry and stomped away from the house. Morwen watched out the window, and saw him disappear into the woods, following the path that led along the river.

Tom and Harry quickly checked their surroundings and started hiking in the direction of the village. Tom saw the teen's back as he turned to walk back to the village. "Hey!" Tom yelled… "T'Lea! Hey!" He jogged to catch up, and Harry ran to keep up.

When Paris caught up to the younger man, he caught him by the arm and turned him to speak to him. His smile quickly faded as he saw the venom in the boy's face.

"Is HE with you?" T'Lea spat.

"Who, uh, Chakotay?"

T'Lea nodded with a glare in his eye.

"No. Not this time. Why? Did something happen? Is something wrong?"

The boy spun on his heel and walked toward the village, ignoring the questions of the other men. Tom and Harry gave each other a look of concern and hurried after him.

T'Lea walked to the house and sat on the porch. The customs of his people would not allow him to turn the visitors away. Tom and Harry had done The People no harm. Chakotay was the one who was not welcome here.

The officers had learned enough of Imati culture to know how to enter a house. They called out a gentle greeting and then stepped inside Sifa's door, lingering in the doorway until Morwen greeted them.

Thinking only of his sister, he blurted, "Is Chakotay with you?"

Tom and Harry looked at each other. "No."

"Is he dead?" Morwen asked, terrified of what the answer might be.

Again, the Starfleet officers looked at each other. Tom grew serious. "No, but he's not well. We came back to try and find out what's wrong with him. I thought maybe Sifa—"

"Sifa is not well," Morwen growled.

She appeared in the doorway, and the men could see the change in her immediately. "Maybe they caught something, shared an illness," Tom wondered aloud.

"They shared everything," Morwen said quickly. "And now, they may lose everything."

"I don't understand," said Tom.

"Where is Chakotay? Is he with you?!" She asked, frantically tugging at their sleeves.

"No, he's, he's back on the sh-" Harry caught himself. "He's at home, and he's very sick."

"Sifa, I really need to talk to you," Tom said. "It's… it's something very personal."

Morwen was alarmed, but Sifa insisted that he allow her to speak with Tom privately. Tom followed her through the house and into the bedroom where Chakotay had recovered.

"Sifa, when we returned, our… our Healer found that Chakotay was… pregnant."

Her eyes lit up with hope.

"Sifa, he's not doing well. If we can't save Chakotay, the baby won't make it, either. The Doctor, our healer, he says it's too soon, the baby won't survive."

"Take me to him," she said.

"But you're sick, too," Tom protested. "I thought maybe you could just… tell us… how to help him."

Her face fell, and she stepped back. "He… he doesn't want me, then."

"What? No, no, Sifa, it's not like that!" Tom frowned. "Sifa, he's so sick he can't tell us what he wants."

"I will go to him, then."

Tom sighed, and scratched his head. He glanced around. "Yeah, well, uh… okay." He took her hand. "Come with us, into the woods. We'll, uh… show you the way." Tom dreaded facing the Captain after this, but if it saved Chakotay's life, it would be worth it. He led her by the hand to the other room, to Harry.

"Morwen, I am going with them. They will take me to Chakotay."

The expression on his face was a mixture of pain and relief. "Be careful, my sister. Remember, I and T'Lea will await your return."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As they distanced themselves from the village, Harry became more animated. "Are you crazy? You're violating the Prime Directive! Captain Janeway will have your head!"

"You think I haven't thought of that, Harry?" Tom snapped back, annoyed. "I'll deal with the Captain _after_ we save Chakotay's life, okay?!"

"You are on the other side of the forest?" Sifa asked.

Tom helped her keep her footing as they crossed a small stream. "Uh, well, Sifa, there's something I need to tell you."

Harry cleared his throat loudly, as a final warning to Tom, but Paris ignored him. "Sifa, we aren't from the other side of the forest. We're from up there." He pointed at the sky.

Her eyes widened. "You are the Others!"

Tom and Harry exchanged confused looks. "I'm not sure what you mean by that, but okay… We have a kind of a village, and it… flies… like a bird. I don't want you to be afraid, Sifa. We're going to take you up there, and you're going to see a lot of… very strange things, but I want you to know that we won't hurt you. We are grateful to you for everything you've done for Chakotay, and for the hospitality you've shown us, and we would never, ever hurt you. Okay?" Tom asked, and he waited until her saw her excited nod.

He tapped his Comm badge. "Paris to Voyager," he said. "Three to beam up." Almost instantly, Sifa watched as her body dissolved into thin air and then reappeared in a strange and shiny room.

"This way," Tom said, gesturing towards the sliding doors as the transporter chief looked on in shock. "Sickbay," Tom called, and the three of them felt the turbolift set into motion. Sifa jumped back, startled, when the doors swished open. Then she saw Chakotay on the biobed, the Doctor hovering over him with concern. She rushed to his side and put her hand to his cheek, tears falling freely down her face.

"Mr. Paris, what in the world?!" The Doctor protested, but at her touch, Chakotay's vitals began to improve. He turned back to his equipment and watched in awe as the love and attention of this woman brought Chakotay back to life.

Sifa put her forearm against his, each of their hands at the other's elbow. She grasped him firmly, and her tentacles wound around his arm and linked them together. Her own condition improved dramatically. She was no longer pale, and she found that her energy had returned. Chakotay, too, was growing stronger, just from this simple bond they shared.

"Paris! Kim! What in the Devil's name have you done?!" Janeway demanded as she burst through the sickbay doors. Immediately, she saw what was happening between Sifa and her first officer. She quieted.

"Captain, I—" Tom began.

She waved a hand in dismissal. "Shh. Shhh. You can explain it later. This is working," she noted, with a quiet smile.

The Doctor stood back farther, allowing Sifa complete access to his patient. He studied his tricorder as they stood. "Working is an understatement. Chakotay is almost at the level he was when you brought him in yesterday." In awe, the Doctor continued, "His vitals have improved, his glands have reverted back to normal functioning. Nothing in my medical files explains what is happening here, but… look. It's happening."

Chakotay awoke and his hand tightened around Sifa's elbow. "You're here," he said, as tears of joy sprang into his eyes.

"I'm here, my dear," she whispered back.

Chakotay inhaled deeply and shuddered with joy as he exhaled. He could feel the uncertainty leaving him. He sat up and kissed her with a passion he'd never felt before.

The Doctor quietly scanned both Chakotay and Sifa in the background. "Remarkable," he commented.

Tom and Harry turned and looked away, feeling uncomfortable in the presence of such passion. Janeway cleared her throat and stepped forward.

At last, Chakotay and Sifa broke the kiss. After another few minutes, her tendrils had retracted back into the skin of her arm. Each keeping a loose hold on the other's fingers, she stepped back a little and allowed the Doctor to examine Chakotay thoroughly.

"I'm Kathryn Janeway," the Captain said, holding out a hand for Sifa to shake.

Confused by the gesture, and unwilling to break contact with Chakotay, Sifa offered the Captain the wrong hand. Janeway grasped it eagerly, anyway, and gave the woman a smile.

"I am Sifa," she announced.

"How is he, Doctor?" Janeway asked, seeing that the hologram had completed his examination.

The Doctor still wore a slight frown. "Much better, but his body is still rejecting the fetus."

"But it is too early for the Sharing," Sifa said with concern.

All of Voyager's officers looked at her, confused.

"Sifa," the Doctor said in his kindest voice, "We need to know more about your people. This Sharing, what exactly is it? What is expected to happen in an Imati pregnancy?"

"The husband carries the child until the fourth month, and then after the Sharing, the wife carries the child to term." She looked into Chakotay's eyes. "It has only been two months."

Janeway turned to her crew. "Doctor, I leave him in your capable hands. Paris, Kim, you have some explaining to do. Come." She led the other two out of sickbay. They rode in uncomfortable silence in the turbolift and exited at the Captain's ready room.

She sat in her chair and folded her arms as the doors swished shut behind them. "You've violated the Prime Directive."

"She saved Chakotay's life."

Janeway shook her head. "And you may have destroyed hers. Her entire village may suffer because of your choice, Tom, Harry."

"Harry had nothing to do with it. It was my decision, Captain."

Janeway turned her gaze from Kim to her best pilot. Tom continued, "As ranking officer, I made the decision entirely on my own. I did not ask the counsel of Ensign Kim."

Without breaking eye contact with Paris, Janeway said, "Dismissed, Mr. Kim."

Reluctantly, Harry did an about face and left, leaving the two to face each other.

"You know the Prime Directive inside and out, Mr. Paris. It was fed to you along with your mother's milk. Now. Explain yourself."

"I don't believe the Imati are primitive," he said, stiffly standing at attention.

"Based on…?"

"Permission to speak freely, Captain?"

"Go ahead."

"Captain, did you see her? All of our technology, she didn't even flinch at it. She is at home here as she was in her hut."

"She was worried about Chakotay. Maybe she just hasn't had time to wonder at the things she's seen."

"Maybe, Captain, but I don't think so."

"For your sake, and for the Imati, I hope you're right." Janeway frowned. "Leiutenant Paris, you are on report. If you so much as step a toe out of line, I'll see you in the brig."

He stood firmly at attention, staring blankly past her at the bulk head. "Yes, Ma'am, thank you, Ma'am."

"Dismissed."

He did a rigid about-face and left the room, leaving the Captain to sigh heavily and massage her temples.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"I will release you to your quarters, Commander, but I expect you to rest. You will report to sickbay in the morning so I can monitor your status."

"Fair enough," Chakotay said with a shy smile. He got to his feet and took Sifa by the hand. "Come, I'll show you around," he told her.

"You will go straight to your quarters, Commander, or I will have you confined to sickbay!"

Chakotay looked back at the Doctor and then gave her an apologetic look. "Maybe the tour can wait?"

"My only wish is to be near you," she admitted.

He squeezed her hand and walked with her to the lift, and they continued to his quarters.

The ship felt so cold and unfamiliar to her, but when she entered Chakotay's personal space, she felt at home. Sifa inhaled the cleansing incense that lingered in the air. She walked slowly around the edge of the room, touching his things with the tips of her fingers.

"Your spirit protector has blessed this place," she observed.

"Yes, I'd like to think so," Chakotay agreed. He wiped the sweat off his face with a swipe of his arm.

"You are one of… the Others," she said with conviction.

"You're referring to the story of Adonna and Garen, when the people were split?"

She nodded.

Chakotay shrugged. "That is not a story that was passed down with my people," he said. "Though my interest in science and my desire to join Starfleet was a source of great sadness for my father."

"You left him behind."

Chakotay nodded.

"You left me behind," she added quietly.

Chakotay was stricken with pain. He stepped over to her and took her in his arms. "I didn't know about our child… I didn't realize what leaving you would do to you... to me... to us. Forgive me, Sifa, please."

They kissed, and her hand found the bulge where their baby was nestled inside him. She broke away, cupped his cheek with her hand. "You are not well. You should rest, as the Healer said."

"Are you hungry? I need to show you how to get what you need," he said. Dismissing her answer, he went to the replicator. "Onion soup," he said, " hot." The air in the dispenser quivered, and a bowl of steaming soup appeared. Chakotay picked it up and handed it to her.

Sifa's eyes were wide. She had heard stories about the technology of the others, but nothing had prepared her for this.

"We have limited supplies," Chakotay explained, "So we only use the replicator when necessary. Tomorrow, I'll take you to the mess hall."

"Thank you," she said quietly, placing a spoon into the bowl. "Chakotay, please. Rest."

He held her hand against his face. "All right," he said quietly. She watched him walk to his bed and climb in.

After she ate, Sifa explored the cabin. She found his PADD, and looked at it, realizing at once that it was a kind of a book, even though she couldn't read what it said. She went through the room, touching his things, and learning more about his life with the Others. Then she found his prayer bundle.

Carefully, reverently, she unrolled it and laid out each component. She sat in front of it, her legs crossed beneath her, and was surprised to find that technology had found a home even in this sacred application. She fingered her pendant as she looked at his most precious possessions.

She glanced in his direction and saw that he was asleep. There, before his prayer bundle, Sifa sang her evening prayers. For the first time in weeks, she was thankful.

She arranged the items in his bundle and rolled it closed again. Sifa got to her feet and replaced Chakotay's things. Then she sat by him on the edge of the bed.

He was sleeping peacefully, but a mist lay over his skin. She touched her fingers to his damp hair. The child, their child, was growing inside him. Sifa lowered her hand to caress the swell in his belly. She sang the lifesong for their child, and smiled. It was no wonder that she had been so ill. Enewi in itself created changes in The People, but the blessing of a child makes the bonding even stronger.

She climbed further into the bed with him and pressed her body against him. As she put her arm over his, her tendrils began to extend from her forearm.

Chakotay gasped in pleasant surprise and laced his fingers into hers, accepting the arm-bond completely. "Sifa," he asked, panting quietly. "What is this?"

"We are one," she said.

"I love you," Chakotay announced.

She had no idea what the strange word meant. His translator had found no word in her language. "Love?" she asked.

"The feeling you have… for the special ones in your life… your first husband, T'Lea, Morwen…" he tried to explain. "When your hearts beat as one."

This, she understood. It was happening between them as they spoke. "I… love… you, Chakotay," she said.

A chemical exchange was going on, and Chakotay moaned with pleasure as his entire body resonated with hers. They fell asleep together, and slept until late in the morning.

* * *

"You're on report? Tom, what did you do?"

"I violated the Prime Directive," he said quickly, under his breath.

"Oh, no. You what?"

Slowly, Tom turned to face her. "I felt it was the only way to save Chakotay."

"He'll have your head, when he's back on his feet."

"Maybe," Paris said.

"Speaking of, how is he?" B'Elanna sat down, and spoke between bites of Harvest Fruit.

Tom hadn't told B'Elanna anything. Chakotay's condition was confidential, and very personal. To be honest, Tom hadn't had much time to wrap his head around the idea. He couldn't imagine what the Commander must be thinking.

"Tom?"

"Huh?"

"How is he?"

"Uh, better."

"So you did save his life."

"I think so. Maybe."

"Have you noticed he's put on a few pounds? That's weird, isn't it? Most people lose weight when they're sick…"

Tom shook his head. "Look, B'Elanna, I really don't want to talk about it."

"You know something," she said, with a gleam in her eye.

Tom's lips pressed together. "B'Elanna, don't. I can't. I'm in enough trouble already."

"C'mon, Tom, I won't tell anybody."

"I'm warning you, B'Elanna…"

She walked over and got very close to him. B'Elanna kissed him, and spoke a few choice words in Klingon. Tom's knees started to quiver. She grinned at his stupid expression and kissed him again.

But before she could ask him again, Tom stood at full attention and stared past her. "Good night, B'Elanna," he said with determination in his voice.

B'Elanna laughed. "Oh, come on, Tom, I was just having a little fun. If you can't tell me, I understand. Really."

He knew she was trying to trick him. B'Elanna wouldn't think twice about seducing him to loosen his tongue. "Good night," he said again. He turned on his heel and left her quarters.

B'Elanna threw what was left of the fruit at the doors, where it splattered. "Fine!" She shouted. As quickly as her anger had come, it was gone. She smiled. "If you won't tell me, I'll just get Harry to."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Forget it, B'Elanna, I'm not saying a word." Harry folded his arms across his chest as the wind came in off the ocean and blew the collar of his Hawaiian shirt.

B'Elanna frowned for a minute, then folded her own arms. "You really like this holodeck program, don't you, Harry?"

"You wouldn't."

"I've gotten a lot of complaints in engineering about the holodeck malfunctioning… Usually that's at the bottom of the list, low priority and all."

"B'Elanna," he groaned.

She shook her head sadly. "A lot of complaints. It could be down for weeks…"

"I could get in big trouble!"

"Why? You're no medic."

Harry frowned and rubbed his arms with his hands. Finally, he lowered his head in defeat and scratched the back of his hair. "All right."

Her eyes lit up with interest.

"But I swear if you tell anyone how you found out—" he warned.

"On my honor," she said. "And you know what that means, coming from me."

He walked over to a table outside the tiki bar and she sat down across from him, leaning in eagerly.

"Chakotay… is…. pregnant."

B'Elanna's jaw dropped. "You're kidding."

"He's sick because something about Imati and humans is incompatable. He's rejecting the baby."

"You're not kidding!"

"No, B'Elanna. You can see why this has to be kept secret."

"And Tom brought her… aboard?"

"It saved his life. Something about being close to her changed him, chemically."

"But he's still sick."

"Yes."

"I have to meet her. I have to see the mother of his baby."

"Just keep your mouth shut."

B'Elanna smiled. "Don't worry, Harry. And thanks. I'll see that you get an extra ten minutes of holotime next month." With that, she got to her feet and headed for the exit.

* * *

Chakotay was the first to wake. He was hot, and he carefully withdrew his body from under hers. He wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his arm and headed for the bathroom. After relieving himself, he stared into the mirror. He looked better than yesterday, but his face was still pallid, still moist from the perspiration. Chakotay filled the sink and leaned over to splash his face.

Next, his hand went to the child growing inside him. Again, he wondered at the events of the last two months. She was a part of him now, as much as the child he now caressed. Sifa would either join him on the trek back to Earth, or he would say goodbye to all his friends on Voyager. Chakotay hoped she would go with him, even as he chided himself for his selfishness.

"Chakotay," she said quietly behind him, and he felt a surge of bliss as her hand touched his back.

"Good morning," he said with a smile.

"Are you all right?" She asked him, noting his hair, dampened with sweat.

"I suppose I'm the same as last night." He drained the water from the sink and turned, embracing her warmly. "I'm hungry. Are you ready to eat?" he asked.

"Onion soup is delicious, but not very filling."

He grinned and gave her a tender kiss on the lips. "When you're ready, I'll take you down to the mess hall."

* * *

The two attracted several stares as they moved through the line in the mess. Chakotay advised her on what to try. Neelix was cheerful as ever, serving spoon in hand.

"Good to see you, Commander!" he said. "I heard you weren't well yesterday."

"Well, the Doctor fixed me right up. Neelix," Chakotay said, placing a firm hand on the Talaxian's shoulder, "This is Sifa."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Neelix said, taking her by the hand and giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. "Any friend of Chakotay's is a friend of mine," he added with a wink.

After another moment's conversation, they carried their trays to a table and sat down. "He was… different," she said.

"Neelix is Talaxian. He is from another planet, far from yours." He saw her brow wrinkle, and a thought occurred to him. "When we're able to go to Astrometrics, I can show you more accurately, but look." He broke up his biscuit into small pieces. "This is where the Imati live," he said, placing one piece on the tray. "This…" Chakotay placed another piece of biscuit down, "Is Talaxia, where Neelix is from." He leaned forward and placed another piece all the way across the table, almost on her tray. "And this… is Earth. My home planet."

She cocked her head at him as if seeing him for the first time. "You are… different."

"On Voyager, we try to focus on what makes us the same. Where there are differences, we celebrate them."

She sighed in relief as he took her hand.

"Doctor to Chakotay," his communicator spouted.

"Go ahead, Doctor," Chakotay said quietly, tilting his head toward the badge.

"I am waiting for your arrival in sickbay."

Chakotay smiled. "I'm in the mess now, Doctor. After breakfast."

"Acknowledged."

Before they had the chance to converse, B'Elanna turned a chair around backwards and straddled it. She rested her chin on her hands and looked back and forth at Chakotay and his new friend.

"Hello, B'Elanna, this is Sifa," Chakotay said. "Sifa, this is B'Elanna Torres, our chief engineer. Uh, builder," he corrected himself.

Sifa nodded toward B'Elanna, who had decided to skip the formality of a handshake. "Very nice to meet you, Sifa," she said. "I see you and Chakotay are getting to know one another."

"B'Elanna…"

"I've known Chakotay a long time. We're very close," she said, staring intently at his new love.

"Torres!" Chakotay snapped. She glanced at him, and he softened his tone. "I'm sure Sifa has plenty of time to learn about my past," he said, taking the Imati woman's hand.

"Uhm, Excuse me," Tom Paris interrupted, as he walked up behind B'Elanna. He put a firm hand on her shoulder. "Can I see you for a minute?" He asked.

She followed Tom to a nearby corner, and folded her arms as she listened to him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm meeting his girlfriend."

"You're being kind of… pushy, aren't you?"

"I'm being perfectly polite. There's not one thing I've said that's not the truth."

"B'Elanna, look… I think it's important that we make Sifa feel… at home here."

"Because he's pregnant?" She hissed at him.

Tom's cheeks reddened. "How did you-"

"I had to threaten Harry, no thanks to you. I can't believe you didn't trust me enough to tell me."

"Trust?! It wasn't about trust, B'Elanna. Or maybe it was: Chakotay's trust in me." The two glared at each other until Tom turned on his heel.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to inspect the Delta Flyer. That way, when Captain Janeway banishes me from the ship, she'll be ready for flight." Angrily, he walked out of the mess hall.

B'Elanna returned to Chakotay's table. He was rubbing his eyes with one hand. "Everything okay with Tom?" he asked.

"Just a little lover's quarrel," B'Elanna explained with a shrug. She looked over at Sifa. "You probably haven't been together long enough to have one."

Sifa didn't pick up on her words. She was focused entirely on Chakotay, who was now rubbing his temples with both hands. "We should go to your Healer," she told him. He nodded.

B'Elanna stepped out of the way and Chakotay leaned on Sifa as they stepped out of the mess hall.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Can I talk to you?" B'Elanna stood in the doorway of Tom's quarters, looking remorseful.

Tom, however, was still angry. With a frown, he stepped aside far enough to let her in. "What's the matter, you couldn't scare her off?"

"Tom, I'm…" She folded her arms and looked away. "I'm worried about him."

"Then why did you do that to him this morning? He's got enough to deal with without you stepping in and…"

"All right, all right! I know it was wrong. I shouldn't have… but Tom, when they left, he looked terrible. What's going on, really?"

"What do you mean, really? You know as much as I do, B'Elanna, as much as the Doc, even. Something about humans and Imati is not compatible, and Chakotay is willing to die to give that baby a chance to live."

"And she?"

"She's the best medicine he's had in weeks."

B'Elanna rubbed her eyes and sighed. She lowered herself to sit on his couch. "I've been friends with him for so long, Tom. I guess I… I just wanted to test her, to make sure she was good enough for him."

"Seems to me if she already passed muster with Chakotay, that should be good enough for you."

With another guilty sigh, B'Elanna closed her eyes. "I know." She rubbed her face with her hands.

Tom's expression softened. "Look, B'Elanna, I have to report to the bridge soon… I'm sorry I can't give you more time to talk this out…"

"Just… how can I help him, Tom?"

"Accept Sifa." Tom sat down beside her and took her hand. "He needs to know she's welcome here." With a quick kiss to her cheek, he got up. "I have to go. I'll see you later, B'Elanna."

Tom turned and left, leaving B'Elanna deep in thought on his couch.

* * *

The Doctor was about to give Chakotay a hypo when his patient's hand got in the way.

"Doctor, what will that do… to the baby?" Chakotay asked.

"It will return your vitals to normal, which will return the baby's to normal. Commander, the only adverse affects of this would be if you didn't take it."

Chakotay nodded, and the Doctor gave him the medicine in his neck. After a few minutes of monitoring, the Doctor seemed satisfied. He looked between the two. "I need more information, Sifa. What you told me about Imati progeneration was helpful, but this is a special case. I need any information you can get me about atypical cases: premature births, cross-species mating…"

She nodded sadly. "May I speak with Chakotay?"

The Doctor agreed and went to his office. Sifa took Chakotay's hand. "Chakotay," she began, "if I am to give the Healer what he needs, I will have to go back… return with the Book of Healing."

"We'll tell the Captain," he said. "We can go as soon as the Doctor releases me."

She shook her head. "Chakotay…" her hand moved to his cheek. "It would not be wise for you to accompany me. You should stay here… with your Healer."

"Sifa, if something happens, you could care for me." Even as he said it, he knew she was right. Chakotay's heart was overriding his brain. He simply didn't want to be away from her.

"Chakotay, that woman… B'Elanna?"

"Yes."

"She is not like you, either."

He smiled. "B'Elanna is half Klingon. She is half human, too," he said, hopefully. "Our child is half human… and half Imati."

"This is what the Healer meant when he said 'cross-species'?"

Chakotay nodded. "Sometimes, it is risky, but as you can see with B'Elanna, it's possible."

"Doctor?" She called, feeling the unfamiliar word tingle against her tongue.

He returned immediately.

"I have to explain the Bonding to you." She looked over Chakotay with affection. "I have to explain it to you both."

"For Imati, the act which brings forth new life is called Enewi." She explained the mechanics of the act, and Chakotay recalled how he felt when her arm reached over his belly and the first time he felt the thrill of her tentacles pricking his skin. "Enewi creates changes in both people. It is necessary to carry the baby, to nurture it until birth. The changes are drastic, and can be deadly. In order to survive the biological changes, for several weeks, Imati people participate in the Bonding."

She looked down over Chakotay. "For weeks, the female will link with her husband. The bond is different from Enewi, but very strong, and brings them both into balance as their bodies change. It also ensures that the child will be born into a family that is unified, that has become one."

"When the Bonding is prevented for some reason, people can die. It is why Chakotay was so ill… It is why I was unwell…"

"And when you bonded with him here in the sickbay, it restored a healthy balance to your vital systems." The Doctor was processing all that she told him.

Sifa nodded. "Doctor, you have asked for more information about pregnancy and birth… we have a Book of Healing, and it should contain all you need to know. I must return to the village to get it. I want Chakotay to stay under your care."

"The Bonding?" The Doctor asked, and Sifa nodded gravely.

"There are remedies… that make it more bearable, that save lives."

"Tell me everything," the Doctor said.

After she had finished describing the remedies and how they worked, Chakotay protested once again. "I could just go with her, and the bond will not be broken."

The Doctor frowned at his patient. "It would prevent the complications of breaking the bond, yes, but there is another problem here, Chakotay. You are rejecting the fetus. I can give you treatments here that will keep your metabolism stabilized, that will slow your body's attack on your child. I agree with Sifa. You should remain on Voyager, for your sake and for your child's."

* * *

A/N Thanks to Jordan Trevor, for your encouraging reviews! I really find it motivating and helpful when I get reviews. Sometimes it even sparks new directions for the story!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The Captain was very still in her chair. Her hands were wrapped around the warmth of her teacup, but her eyes were wide as she looked at each person in her ready room: Chakotay, Sifa, and the Doctor.

"Sifa," she began, "I have heard that your people have advanced knowledge about certain things. Cellular structure, for example. How did the Imati come to have this knowledge?"

She smiled. "How does anyone come to knowledge, Captain? Observation, and study, and thought."

"But your people don't have microscopes or other tools that would—"

"We no longer need them," she said. "At one time, the Imati were a technological people. We do not employ the use of such technology today, but it was by choice."

Janeway felt her heart grow a little bit lighter. "Tell me about it," she said, and eagerly awaited the narrative.

Sifa repeated the story of Adonna and Garen and the People. The story of how the Others went away, and the Imati stayed. "We are not foolish, Captain. We still retain the knowledge, even if we have chosen not to make use of it."

"How? How did you retain the knowledge?"

"Books, Captain," Chakotay said. "I saw the medical book, the one Sifa is planning to go and get."

"There are many books," Sifa explained. "Each family is the custodian of one of them. Morwen keeps the rest, the ones for which we do not have Masters."

"There are some you don't use?"

She nodded. "I have seen them, as a child. Flying machines, like Voyager. Weapons of mass destruction. These are the things my people felt were most damaging to our well-being, our culture."

Janeway smiled at the group. "Well, I don't see that the Prime Directive is in play, here."

* * *

B'Elanna arrived at Chakotay's quarters and heard the chirp inside. The doors swished open, and he smiled at her. "B'Elanna, come in," he said. He walked back to the couch and sat beside Sifa, who held onto his arm with both hands.

"You've met Sifa, right?" He asked.

"Yes, this morning," she said. "Chakotay… Sifa…" B'Elanna slowly melted into a chair. "I've come because I feel I should…" She licked her lips and swallowed. Apologizing was pure torture. "I wanted to say that I'm… I'm…"

"There is no need." Sifa smiled at her, and then at Chakotay. "I am glad Chakotay has such a… protective… friend."

B'Elanna gaped, and then she smiled. Having spared her from uttering the awful word, Sifa was growing on her. "Chakotay, I've been worried about you. Are you all right?"

A crooked smile crossed his lips. "You can't expect me to believe that you don't already know," he said.

She smiled. "But Tom was not my source. He stood up to me fiercely. I honestly had no idea he had so much self-control."

"We spoke to the Captain," Chakotay said. "Tomorrow, Sifa and Tom will return to the planet. There is a book there that will help the Doctor treat me."

"And the baby?" B'Elanna asked quietly.

Chakotay slipped his left hand over Sifa's hand. "The baby is fine, for now."

Sifa spoke. "It will be very hard for him, while I am away. He will need a good friend."

B'Elanna laughed, "C'mon, it's only a day or two, right?" Then her smile faded as she saw the serious looks on their faces.

"It's complicated, B'Elanna, but it's true. There's more going on here than what you or I think of as a romance." Chakotay leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

"You're tired," Sifa said.

"I just need a few minutes," he said. He got up and Sifa escorted him to his bed. She helped him get comfortable after he laid down. Then she returned to B'Elanna.

"You are aware of what is happening to him, to the baby?"

"I heard he's showing signs of rejection."

Sifa nodded. "He tires easily."

"Sifa, I don't mean to pry, but… what will you do? I mean, after…?"

Sifa sighed heavily. "We have much we need to discuss," she admitted. Chakotay and I haven't found time yet, to talk about it."

"You can stay with him, here," B'Elanna volunteered.

Sifa smiled sadly. "My son, and my brother, are down there…"

B'Elanna realized that things were much more complex than she knew. She sighed and dropped the subject. "I should be going. I have to eat something before my shift in Engineering starts." B'Elanna got up and stood before Sifa. "I look forward to getting to know you better, Sifa."

"And I you," she replied.

* * *

B'Elanna kissed Tom goodbye, and with a quiet nod, said everything she wanted to say: _be careful, come back soon, I'll miss you._

Next to them, Chakotay and Sifa had their forearms locked between their bodies and were hugging tightly with the other arm. Chakotay was kissing her, as well. She whispered to him, and he nodded. It took her a moment to disengage from the embrace. Tom was already standing on the transporter pad when she stepped up. Chakotay directed her feet and then moved back to stand in front of the chief's console.

The transporter chief tapped the console and then beamed the two to the planet. As Sifa's particles vanished in front of him, Chakotay felt as if a spike had been driven into his heart. He swayed, and grabbed the console with his hand.

B'Elanna took him by the arm. With one hand on his back, she waited for him to regain his equilibrium. He tried, but still had to steady himself on the console. B'Elanna tugged his arm around her neck. "Let's get you to sickbay," she said, and supported him as he staggered with her through the ship.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

They materialized at the edge of the forest, near the village. After much discussion, Sifa had decided it would be best not to materialize in the village. Even though the Imati were aware of advanced technologies, that didn't mean something so different wouldn't frighten them.

Tom looked around to get his bearings, and he saw the stricken look on her face. "All right?" he asked, taking her arm.

"It is stronger than before." She took a step forward, and he realized she was shaking.

"Is there something I can do?" Tom asked.

Sifa shook her head and determinedly stepped forward again. He supported her with his arms and they made it halfway across the field when suddenly, she fell.

Tom kneeled beside her and removed his tricorder from his bag. After a quick scan of her vitals, he frowned. Tom packed the tricorder away, hung his bag more securely over his neck and shoulder, and then picked her up and carried her the rest of the way.

* * *

Chakotay was curled up in the fetal position on the biobed, tears streaming from his eyes. "She's never coming back!" He wailed.

"Chakotay, she's coming back! You're letting your emotions get the best of you!" B'Elanna said, almost pleading with him to be rational again.

Kathryn Janeway stood in the Doctor's office, watching her friend through the glass. It pained her to see him suffer so. She knew Chakotay was a man of deep feeling, but he always kept those feelings very, very private. She knew that for him to shout out this way, he was truly suffering.

"I've treated him for the effects of the separation, but because of the pregnancy, his hormonal levels are sky-high. He can't seem to get a handle on his emotions, rational or not," the Doctor explained.

After a long, deep breath, Kathryn spoke. "Let me try." She walked out into the medical bay and stood by until B'Elanna saw her intention. Chakotay was sobbing, and B'Elanna touched his head with her palm before stepping away.

Kathryn walked around the bed and looked down on his tear-stained cheek. She took his hand with her own. "Chakotay," she said, her voice calm and quiet.

He continued to whimper, but he gripped her hand.

"Chakotay, we've been friends a long time," she said. "I know you can't make sense of things right now, but I want you to trust me. If you can't make sense of it, you've got to trust that I can."

She adjusted her grip on his hand and squeezed. "You've always been here for me, Chakotay. Now let me be strong for you. Feel my hand, Chakotay. Do you feel it?"

Whimpering still, he nodded and squeezed her fingers.

"Now. Look into my eyes, Chakotay. You have to believe me. You have to know that I am sincere."

He struggled, but he managed to look her in the eye, blinking tears away.

"Sifa will come back to you. You have to trust me on this. I can't imagine what you must be feeling, but you have to trust me, trust that it's true."

He gulped his breath and slowly sat up, reaching for her other hand. Janeway took it, then let him rest his head on her shoulder as he wept. "Shhh…" she was saying, "It will be all right…" With one arm around his neck, she held him and continued soothing him.

* * *

Tom was in a full sweat by the time they reached the edge of the village. Sifa was awake, but wearily let her head bob against his shoulder in rhythm to his steps.

T'Lea was the first to see them. He raced to his mother and almost tore her from Tom's arms.

"Hey!" Tom yelled, "Be careful!"

"What did he do to her?!" T'Lea demanded.

"Nothing!" Tom cried. "Sifa asked to come back here!" He lowered her gently to the ground and let her sit up against him while T'Lea cupped her cheek with his hand.

"Mother," he pleaded. "Mother, awake!"

Her hand caressed her son's. "Shhh, child. Tom speaks the truth. I need… the remedy."

"The-the Bonding?"

"Yes, the remedy. Please, go and prepare it."

After an intense look of concern, the teen nodded and sprinted to the house. Tom lifted her again and hobbled toward the porch. Morwen met him and relieved him of his burden.

Morwen laid her on her bed and T'Lea helped her drink the medicine she'd asked for. Tom was surprised when Morwen offered him a cup of water. "Thanks," he panted, downing it all in one swig.

"They have bonded," Morwen said.

"Oh, yeah, they have," Tom breathed.

"I do not understand. Why has she returned… alone?"

Sifa spoke. "Chakotay is not Imati." Apologetically, she looked at her son. "We are with child," she said. "It is too soon for the sharing, but he cannot continue-"

"You need the Book," Morwen said, nodding.

Sifa nodded. "There is much I need to tell you both," she said to her family. She nodded towards Tom. "They are not Imati, but they are the Others." Having introduced her topic, she went on to explain Voyager and the many technologies she'd used and seen.

Tom watched them as she spoke, and occasionally answered a question. T'Lea was fascinated by everything he heard; but Morwen grew more troubled the more he heard about Voyager.

"The Captain has extended her welcome to any Imati who wish to come on board," Tom announced. This seemed only to trouble the man further.

"May I share the Book of Healing with Voyager's Healer?" Sifa asked her brother.

He thought a moment and then nodded. "For the child's sake, and for Chakotay's."

"The ship can lock on to us from here," Tom said. "There's no need to hike back to the woods."

Morwen, however, didn't hear him. He was too busy considering the consequences this contact with the Others would have on the Imati people. He would have to call a council; this wasn't the kind of decision he felt he should make for his people.

"Morwen?" Tom asked. The man shook away his thoughts and stared at him. "Are you coming with us?"

"I…" he thought again. Perhaps if he saw for himself, he could better represent the situation to the others. "Yes," he said.

"Paris to Voyager," Tom said, tapping his communicator. "Four to beam up." T'Lea held the Book of healing in his hand as they transported to the ship.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

B'Elanna was sitting beside Chakotay in sickbay. He was calm now, albeit looking very sad. He was sweating again, and the Doctor was monitoring his vitals, which were worsening by the minute.

Chakotay stared at his friend. "I bet you never thought we'd be here," he said.

"No, but I'll bet you didn't either." She gave him a smile. "Sifa seems genuinely kind, Chakotay. I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

"She's beautiful," he said. "She's the most wonderful woman I've ever…"

"I know. You're in love, and I'm happy for you."

He closed his eyes for a moment. The battle raging inside his body was taking its toll. "The Imati are so much like my ancestors… I never intended for things to go so far. We just had so much in common."

"It doesn't matter, Chakotay. It's good. You've found love. You'll finally have the family you've always dreamed of. It doesn't matter what the circumstances were."

His eyes fluttered shut, and B'Elanna looked to the doctor. "He's sleeping," the hologram said. "And about time, too."

Just then, Tom and his entourage walked in. Sifa, looking somewhat ill herself, went straight to Chakotay, as she'd done before. He didn't wake this time, but she linked her arm with his anyway.

The Doctor smiled as he watched Chakotay's vitals improve. After a few minutes, her tendrils retracted and she turned to the Doctor. "How is he?" She asked.

"He had a very hard time being separated from you," he admitted. "But, again, you've worked your magic. I've been able to suppress his body's attack on the fetus. He's uncomfortable, but stable. Were you able to bring back the book?"

T'Lea handed it, with reverence, to his mother. Ceremoniously, she passed it to the Doctor. "Wonderful!" He exclaimed, then walked to his office, already studying it.

The Captain came in. "Welcome back!" She said, happy to see that Chakotay looked better than he had. "I see you've brought friends."

"Family, actually," Tom explained.

"This is my brother, Morwen," Sifa said. "And this is T'Lea, my son."

"A pleasure to meet you both," Captain Janeway said, shaking their hands awkwardly. "I'm Kathryn Janeway, the Captain of this vessel."

"Captain, would it be possible to tour the ship?" Morwen asked. He had poured over the other books, the ones the Imati felt were unnecessary, and he felt he knew enough about the Others to make sense of anything he might see.

"Absolutely. I'll have Mr. Neelix give you a tour." With a smile, she called Neelix to sickbay, and then excused herself from the group.

"How is it going, Doctor?" she asked, peering in from his doorway.

"It's wonderful, Captain, but I'm afraid I just can't translate, process, and file it all fast enough."

"Perhaps Mr. Kim could help?"

"Yes, Captain, thank you," the Doctor said, as he continued studying the book.

T'Lea stood by his mother, watching. He saw the affection in her expression, and he couldn't help but notice how intimate she was with Chakotay. He tried to suppress the anger that was still boiling beneath the surface.

Chakotay awoke, and he gave her a glassy-eyed smile. "I'm dreaming," he said.

Her hand caressed him, and she kissed his lips. T'Lea was confused by this, but he could see it was a sign of tenderness. "We have returned, Chakotay," she said. "Your Healer will know how to help you, now."

He smiled for her again, and then his eyes fell on T'Lea. Chakotay held out his hand and the boy accepted it. "T'Lea," Chakotay said warmly. "How are you?"

Try as he might, T'Lea could not keep hold of his anger. He smiled at Chakotay.

"I suppose I'm your father now," Chakotay said, adding, "If you'll accept me."

"A man no longer needs his father," T'Lea announced, standing tall.

Chakotay grinned. "A man always needs his father," he corrected, letting the boy go. "As you grow older, you'll find truth in that."

Morwen stepped in and greeted Chakotay amiably. "It is good to see you brother, even in such circumstances."

Chakotay laced his fingers into Sifa's. "I am sorry for the circumstances. I never expected—"

"It is not our way to question that which has already passed. We only attend to the present, with an eye to the future."

"He is not scolding you," Sifa explained. "He is only saying—"

"What's done is done. What's past is past," Chakotay said.

"Morwen," Captain Janeway interrupted. He turned, and she stepped aside, gesturing with her hand. "This is Mr. Neelix."

It was the first time the Imati had ever seen another species. Aside from a small jolt of surprise, they were very cordial. Morwen introduced T'Lea, and after bidding farewell to Sifa and Chakotay, they followed Neelix out of the sickbay.

Chakotay rested his eyes again, letting out a sigh. Sifa could see that he was worse than before she left, but she said nothing. They were doing everything they could for him. She moved her hand to caress the baby.

"Whatta we got, Doc?" Harry asked, eagerly clapping his hands together.

The Doctor spun around in his chair. "We need to get every bit of this... into my memory banks as quickly as possible. Chakotay's life may depend on it."

Harry's expression grew serious. "You can read it?" he asked.

"Yes. The Universal Translator has been able to satisfactorily interpret their language. The Ship's computer simply ran a search of all known Delta Quadrant written languages and chose the most similar."

"Good, that will save us some time." Harry looked through the book quickly, punched some buttons on the Doctor's console, then turned to the Doctor.

"Wha-what are you doing to me?" He exclaimed.

"Relax," Harry said. "I'm adjusting your program. I should be able to adjust your visual data matrix to allow for rapid input. You'll pick up on minute details quickly, and all of the data will be entered into the ship's data bank."

"But, Mr. Kim! It's too bright! I can't work like this! What if Chakotay needs me!"

"Lights down ten percent," Harry announced, and the ship's computer immediately lowered the light in the office.

"Oh… oh… that… that's better," the Doctor said.

"Now…" Harry said, talking to himself, "I think if I just…"

"Oh! What have you done?!" The Doctor cried.

"Can you see through me?" Harry asked him.

"Y-yes, I can see through you! You have a hernia that's about to flare up, by the way. Make an appointment and I'll take care of it."

For a moment, the Doctor's news threw him. "Yeah. Okay, Doc."

"I can see through everything. I can see the inner components of the computer, and the conduit in the wall, and—"

Harry set the book in the Doctor's lap. "Here. Look through this slowly and carefully. Make sure you examine every layer."

After no longer than two minutes, the process was complete. "I-I've got it!" The Doctor smiled.

"Good," Harry said. He punched buttons on the console for several seconds.

"Oh, thank God," the Doctor said.

"Everything back to normal?" Kim asked.

"Yes. You know, Mr. Kim, the first rule of a good bedside manner is to inform the patient ahead of time what the procedure entails."

"And that's why I'm not a Doctor," Harry said. "It will take the computer about an hour to process that data. Then you should be able to make use of it."

"Yes, thank you."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Morwen had thought himself prepared for anything, but as the tour came to a close, his head was swimming. He could only imagine what T'Lea, for whom the tour came as a surprise, was thinking. They returned to the sickbay, and Morwen suppressed a yawn. It was still bright all over the common areas of the ship, and he had no idea what time it was. "Mr. Neelix," he asked, "Is it day or night?"

Neelix smiled. "Computer, what time is it on the Imati planet?"

After a chirp, the computer replied, "It is 2200 hours on the planet Imati."

Neelix smiled at them both until he realized they didn't understand. "Night," he told them.

As they walked back to see Sifa and Chakotay, Morwen was troubled. T'Lea greeted his mother with a hand on her cheek, and she did the same to him before reaching out to her brother.

He startled, but returned the gesture. "How are they?" he asked her.

She looked down at Chakotay's sleeping face. "It is becoming more difficult. The Doctor thinks the Sharing could happen successfully once the Bonding is over. He has already learned everything in the Book," she explained.

"How many days?" Morwen asked her.

"Between 3 and 6 more days. I can tell when we link that it is not as strong anymore."

"The Sharing has never happened so soon," he said.

She nodded soberly. "There is a risk, but as the Doctor says, it is the only chance for our child to survive."

Morwen studied his sister. He knew much about healing, as well. "You must be prepared," he said. "Or it may not go well."

"I am trying," she told him.

Morwen sought out the Doctor and spoke to him privately. When he returned, he turned to Neelix. "I need to rest; and then I need to go back to my people."

"Certainly," Neelix said. "The Captain has assigned guest quarters for you and T'Lea. I'll show you the way."

The Doctor returned and spoke to Sifa as the others left. "I am having a larger bed brought in. We will need it when it comes time for the sharing, and until then, you can rest and stay close to Chakotay."

* * *

After Neelix showed them the amenities in the guest quarters, he left. Morwen turned to T'Lea. "I suppose you are enamored of this place, with all its magic," he said.

T'Lea's brow furrowed and he thought before he spoke. "There is no soil. No uneven ground to challenge my feet. No rushing river to soothe me to sleep at night. The crops are grown in air. This is no place for me," he said, decidedly.

They said good night, and Morwen looked out the porthole at the planet below. He grasped his pendant between his fingers. Tonight was the first time in his entire life that he had forgotten to say his prayers.

* * *

Chakotay awoke as the Doctor used the hypospray on him. He knew something had changed, and he could feel Sifa's warmth against his arm.

The Doctor smiled. "You've turned my sickbay into a love nest," he teased.

Chakotay shivered, and the Doctor's smile faded. "It's getting worse," the Commander said. "Didn't you-?"

"I now know everything about Imati health and well-being. In a normal Imati pregnancy, the Bonding takes place for the first several weeks. You and Sifa are nearing the end of the Bonding period. Then the male carries the child for another two months before something called "The Sharing" takes place. That's when the fetus moves from the father to the mother. Chakotay, you will not be able to carry this child another two months. You won't survive it, and neither will he."

"He?" Chakotay asked, with another shiver.

"Yes." The Doctor's voice softened. "Your son, Chakotay." He found another blanket and put it over the Commander. "In your case, the Sharing is going to come early."

"But Doctor, what if he's not strong enough?"

"He will weaken the longer he is under attack by your immune system. Your son will fare better the sooner he leaves you. According to my research, he will be able to make the transition. And then, if Sifa is strong enough, I expect we will have a new crewmember in a few months."

"If Sifa… Is there something wrong with her?"

The Doctor smiled. "No. But she is exhausted. I'm doing everything I can to help her rest."

Chakotay's head rolled towards her, and he stared at her beautiful face until he succumbed to sleep again.

* * *

The men in the village were organizing a search party. They gathered in the prayer circle, nervously discussing what could have happened to Sifa and her family. Weapons were brought out, and some discussion turned to the recent visitors.

Morwen and T'Lea hurried out to the circle. "What is going on?" Morwen asked loudly, and all conversation stopped abruptly.

"Morwen, I am happy to see you! We were just going out to search for you."

"For me?"

"Braskin's mother was ill in the night. He went for Sifa, but her house was cold and empty. Then he went for you, but you were gone. We feared the worst."

Guilt washed over Morwen. "Is she all right?" he asked.

"Yes. It passed and she is asleep now. Where did you go?"

"Men," Morwen announced, "Let us sit down. We have much to discuss."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Sifa, I need to know if the Bonding is over," the Doctor said. "Chakotay can't go on like this." His patient was unconscious, his temperature was raging, and he was dripping with sweat. The man's heart rate was high, his blood pressure was high, and he was in a steady decline.

Sifa stroked Chakotay's face with her hand before linking with him again by the forearm. The Doctor did not smile this time. There seemed to be no improvement in his condition.

"Yes, Doctor," she said. "It is finished." She disentangled from him and touched his face with concern. Then her hand rested over their child.

"Doctor to Janeway."

"Yes, Doctor?" Her voice came over the communicator.

"I require the assistance of Lieutenant Paris. Chakotay is progressing to the next stage."

"Copy that, Doctor. Chakotay and I will be right down."

Softly, Sifa began singing a prayer to their child.

B'Elanna came to sickbay, as well. She sat across from Sifa as the woman finished her prayer. "How is he?" B'Elanna asked her.

"Not well. The Doctor says we must proceed with the Sharing now."

"The Sharing?" B'Elanna glanced back and saw Tom and the Captain in the Doctor's office, receiving a crash course on Imati pregnancy and birth.

"The child will move from Chakotay to me."

B'Elanna nodded. She held Chakotay's hand and spoke his name. Receiving no answer, she frowned sadly.

The Doctor emerged from his office, followed by the others. Torres walked over to stand by the Captain, and Tom took his place just behind the Doctor.

"I'm going to begin by waking Chakotay," the Doctor explained. "I think the more he can tell us about what is happening, the better." He prepared a hypo. "After that, I will leave it to you," he said to Sifa. He administered the hypospray, and within seconds, Chakotay was blinking and awake.

"Chakotay," Sifa said quietly, "we are preparing for the Sharing. Are you ready?"

His hand moved down to cover hers as she caressed the baby. He shivered. "Y-yes," he said.

"There will be some pain at first," she warned.

Chakotay nodded, and she kissed his lips before lying flat beside him. Sifa turned to her side, laying her forearm over his abdomen. She could feel him quiver beneath her touch. After a long, deep breath, Sifa closed her eyes and her tentacles shot out of her arm, piercing Chakotay's skin. He cried out in pain.

Janeway grasped B'Elanna's arm, both for comfort and to hold her back.

Her tentacles retracted, and she slid her hand back, out of the way. They both watched as tiny tendrils poked up through Chakotay's skin. He clenched his teeth, but he continued to watch.

"Chakotay?" The Doctor asked quietly.

"It's okay, Doctor," he said. "It- it's numbing." As they watched, the tendrils latched on to his skin and slowly, the child emerged from his belly. Its head was large, and Chakotay grimaced in pain as it pushed through the incision made by Sifa. Except for the tentacles, it looked much like a human fetus at 13 weeks. It had fingers and toes and was a little more than three inches long.

The child pulled itself along Chakotay's belly and onto Sifa's. She cradled her arm just under it, and her own tendrils emerged. Mother and baby worked together to carve an opening into her skin. As the child dragged itself into the warmth of its mother's body, the Doctor was tending Chakotay, who was going into shock.

At last, it was finished. Tom tended Sifa's new wounds while the Doctor treated Chakotay. Finally, the Doctor rose and ran his tricorder over mother and baby. "His vitals are strong," he announced with a smile. "The Sharing was successful," he told Sifa.

She smiled and turned to Chakotay, who was slipping into sleep again. "You did well, my husband," she told him.

He gave her a smile and succumbed to sleep. Tom covered both patients with a blanket before he and the Doctor stepped away.

"Beautiful," Janeway said. "Good work, Doctor; Tom." She gave his arm a squeeze and marched out of sickbay.

"Thank you, Mr. Paris." The Doctor said.

"My pleasure, Doctor," Tom said with a smile. "That was… amazing."

"New life is awe-inspiring, isn't it?" He could see that something was brewing between Tom and B'Elanna. "Well, again, thank you, Mr. Paris. I may need your help tomorrow. I'll let you know."

"Sure, Doc." Tom was grinning at B'Elanna. She reached her hands around his neck and kissed him.

The Doctor cleared his throat loudly, and the two lovers hurried out of the medical bay, still holding each other.

* * *

The Doctor tended his patients throughout the day. Sifa settled in and seemed to be weary, but otherwise fine. It was taking some time, but Chakotay was slowly returning to normal.

"How are they?" Chakotay asked the Doctor as he made his rounds.

"Fine," he answered. "And you're on the mend, yourself."

The Commander smiled. "Can we go home, yet?"

"If, by 'home', you mean your quarters, I think I could approve that after another hour or so. If you mean the planet, I'd like to wait a while longer." The Doctor's face betrayed his emotion. "What will you do, Commander?"

Chakotay slowly pulled himself to a sitting position, careful not to disturb her. He looked over her, feeling the bond between them. "I don't know, Doctor."

"Your recovery won't take long, Chakotay. I'm sure the Captain will want to talk to you about your plans. Perhaps it's time to make that decision."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Harry was with Morwen and two of the Imati builders. "I can't believe Neelix didn't show you the holodeck," he said to Morwen. "Sometimes I think this is the best part of the ship."

They entered a room that was nothing but a black and yellow grid. "Computer, daytime, a deciduous forest." The men all gasped in surprise as the room transformed into a forest. "Computer, add a river 10 meters from me." Instantly, a river appeared. "Increase current 15%." The river sped up and was very similar to the river the Imati were familiar with.

Harry looked proudly at the men. "It takes some time to simulate something accurately. You have to tweak all the little details: flora and fauna, any specific features of the topography you want."

Morwen's companions peppered Harry with questions. Morwen walked to the river, squatted, and put his hand in the water, deep in thought.

* * *

"It's time you got up and moving, Commander," the Doctor instructed.

Chakotay was eager to be out of sickbay, but reluctant to be apart from Sifa.

"She's not going anywhere," the Doctor said.

Slowly, Chakotay turned so his legs hung off the side of the bed. He slowly eased down and onto his feet. He stood, and leaned one hand on the bed for support. "It's sore," Chakotay whispered, rubbing his stomach with his hand.

The Doctor quickly used his tricorder. "You're fine," he announced. "Keep going."

The Doctor walked beside him for a few steps, and then as Chakotay rested, leaning on another biobed, he slipped away, returning with a cane. He handed it to Chakotay, who then walked more confidently. "As you begin to move again, you'll find you won't need it," he explained, watching Chakotay's every step with satisfaction. "I expect you'll be your old self again in a day or two."

Chakotay continued walking all the way to the bathroom, where he closed himself inside. The Doctor turned back to Sifa and ran his tricorder over her body, punching the controls and smiling happily.

"Chakotay?" She whispered sleepily.

"He'll be right back," the Doctor said. "He's gone for a walk. Doctor's orders," he explained.

Sifa nodded. "Doctor," she asked, "How is our child?"

The hologram smiled. "He is fine, Sifa. The Sharing was a complete success. I see no reason to worry."

She smiled with relief.

"I'll be releasing you and Chakotay to his quarters. I would like to see you again in the morning," the Doctor said. "And then, if you'll permit it, I would like to care for you throughout your pregnancy."

Sifa smiled again. "It will be nice to have a Healer to help me," she said.

Chakotay returned, struggling not to walk too quickly on his unsteady legs. "Sifa!" He said joyfully, as he approached her. He sat beside her and they each cupped the other's cheek with one hand.

"Commander, I am releasing you both to your quarters as soon as Sifa feels she is ready. Try and take it easy," he added.

Chakotay gave the doctor a grin, and his excitement was apparent in his eyes. He held her hand, taking a moment to caress her belly, as well.

* * *

Harry approached Morwen quietly, and stood behind the man for a few minutes before he spoke. "It's pretty amazing, isn't it?" he said happily.

"It is… illusion," Morwen said quietly. "A man could pray here, but he would be praying to… what? To circuits and nacelles and…" For a moment, he was silent. Morwen got to his feet. "It is not for me," he announced, and walked toward the holodeck exit. Pausing, he touched his hand to the half-visible leaves flickering there. His hand went right through them. He looked at Harry once more, then moved forward. The doors swished open and he walked purposefully away.

* * *

Kathryn Janeway was well aware of the dilemma facing her first officer. If she could have it her way, he would bring Sifa and whomever she liked on board and they would continue home, a new bigger, happier family. But she didn't kid herself. The decision was more complex than that, and she knew it. And Chakotay was her dearest, closest friend. She wanted to give him all the time he needed to make his decision, but even as they lingered, orbiting the planet, she knew her crew was beginning to get restless. They had a 70 years' journey ahead of them to get home, and some were hoping only to make it back to see their loved ones before they died.

How could she put Chakotay's family needs above all the others?

Kathryn feared if she rushed his decision, he would choose to stay with the Imati, and for her, that would be devastating. Tuvok would become her first officer, of that she had no doubt. She could confide in Tuvok, he would be fine for the job… but Chakotay understood the emotional impact of her decisions as only a human could. He gave her a level of support that Tuvok, though he tried, simply could not.

Still and all, as his friend, she did not want to pressure his decision. In his place, she really wasn't sure what she herself would choose.

"Captain?" Tuvok interrupted her thoughts. "The Imati delegation is congregated in the conference room."

She glanced around her ready room, and gave him a smile. "Thank you, Tuvok. I'll be right there," she said quietly, still musing.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Chakotay and Sifa sat at the small table, facing each other. The remnants of a light dinner on used plates between them. Chakotay was wistful as he spoke. "It was amazing," he said. "I never dreamed I could... Bear a life within me..."

Her hand caressed her womb as she listened to him speak. It was another difference between them, something an Imati man would never say. Still, his words endeared him to her.

"And when I saw him, working, struggling to move from me to you..." Chakotay smiled at her, "I was so proud. He is so tiny, so vulnerable, yet he has such strength!"

The couple shared a moment of joy, and he reached out to take her hand. "We have a lot to discuss," Chakotay said, "a lot to decide." The words hung in the air between them. Could it be that she hadn't considered it yet? "When the People went to Garen, it must have been something like this," he added.

She shivered, and a deep sadness filled her. "You wish to stay on Voyager," she said.

"I wish to be with you, and our son."

"As do I."

"Sifa, Voyager is my home, but I could be very happy on the planet with you. I want to know... I need to know what you want."

Sifa took a deep breath. She thought of the story of the Others. In all her life, she'd never considered that they were anything but happy about their decision to leave the Imati. Now, she knew there was a depth to the story that was heartbreaking.

"Sifa," Chakotay quietly spoke. "Tell me. What is in your heart? Could you be happy here, traveling, maybe eventually on my home planet, Earth?"

Before she could summon the courage to speak, Sifa began to cry. Chakotay took to his feet, gathered her into his arms, and held her.

* * *

The bridge crew watched with interest as the Captain returned from her meeting with the Imati. Not one person asked the question that burned within them.

"Status?" Janeway asked, and then seemed way more interested in the results of the planetary survey than anyone in their right mind ought to be.

Paris spared a glance in her direction before turning away with a slight shake of his head.

"Do you have something on your mind, Mr. Paris?" Janeway asked, point blank.

For a moment, Tom froze in his tracks. "Yes, Ma'am, actually, I do." He met her stare, eye for eye.

Kathryn considered whether she wanted him to speak in front of the others. She knew what he was going to say. She knew it was on everyone's mind. She knew the gossip would fly as fast as the ship, and she knew it was safer to nip that in the bud.

"Let me guess," Janeway said. "You're wondering about the meeting with the Imati delegation. You're wondering if we exchanged any technology. You're wondering if we've gained any new crew."

"Yes, Ma'am," Tom said.

"Here it is in a nutshell. Be sure and listen up, get it right, people." As she said this, she circled and made eye contact with each of her crewmen. They looked away in shame, but kept their burning ears open.

"The meeting went well. The Imati are delightful people. We did not exchange any technology, nor did we gain any crew. The Imati wish to hold a private council before making such decisions, and we will respect that." Kathryn turned back to her helmsman. "Does that satisfy you, Tom?"

"Yes, Ma'am," he said, "Thank you, Ma'am."

* * *

Sifa had long since stopped crying. The decision wasn't final, but they had finally discussed it. Now she sat and listened as Chakotay explained the items in his prayer bundle to her. His door chirped.

Chakotay was still stiff and a little sore from his recovery. He got up slowly and then made his way to the door, where he pushed a button and it swished open.

Morwen stood in the corridor. "May I speak with my sister?" he asked.

Chakotay smiled. "Of course. Come in."

He greeted his sister with a hand to her cheek, and she returned the gesture. Morwen waited while Chakotay reverently gathered up his things and tucked them away.

"You are well?" he asked his sister.

She nodded.

He glanced at Chakotay. "And you are well, too, my brother?"

Chakotay smiled and gave him a nod. "Much better, thank you."

Morwen settled in a chair near Sifa. "There will be a council, my sister. The People have much to discuss." He folded his arms and massaged his biceps with his thumbs. "We will call on Garen."

"We have reunited with the Others," she said. "But the joy is absent."

"There is dissention among the People," he said. "Some are angry. They cannot see the good in rejecting all this technology."

"And you, Morwen?" Chakotay asked. "Where do you stand in all this?"

He stared at his brother in law. "I cannot live this way. I am out of harmony here. It won't be long, and I will lose my way."

"T'Lea?" She asked him.

"T'Lea is a man, now," Morwen reminded her.

She nodded. "Is he at home with the Others?" she asked, and Chakotay stood over the couch behind her. He grasped her hand when she raised it to her shoulder.

"T'Lea is of the People," Morwen said.

Sifa sat straight as an arrow, holding her breath against the agony in her heart. At the sensation of Chakotay's fingers stroking her cheek, she raised her eyes to meet his.

"It's all right," Chakotay said quietly. "We haven't decided yet. We can take more time," he added.

"You were planning to stay here," Morwen said sadly.

"We haven't truly decided anything," Chakotay said for her. "Sifa wanted to speak with T'Lea, and with you."

"The council will take place tonight… is it night?" he asked suddenly.

Chakotay shook his head. "Not yet."

"Will you attend the council?" Morwen asked them.

Chakotay glanced at her. "The Doctor wants us to stay on the ship for now."

"The Healer?"

They both nodded, and Morwen frowned. "There is something wrong, then…"

"No, Morwen, everything seems to be fine since the Sharing," she said. "If you want me to attend, I will go."

"People will be angry with you," Morwen said, thinking aloud. "They will blame you for bringing this upon us."

"Morwen," Chakotay spoke. "If you want us there, we will go."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Chakotay stood before the Captain. The Doctor was at her side. "As long as he wears his communicator, I see no problem with this," the hologram was saying.

Chakotay was quiet, but stern. "It would be completely inappropriate to bring technology into the Imati Council. I can't wear my communicator."

"And what happens when you or Sifa has a medical emergency?"

"If it's something we feel we need you for, I could go back to Sifa's house, contact you from there."

"You may not have the time. If your baby is in distress, Chakotay, the time it takes to run to the house may be the only time you have to save his life."

"You have concerns about the baby?" Chakotay challenged him.

"It is the first ever Imati/Human conception. By its very nature, it is risky."

"Doctor," the Captain said quietly. "Is there any danger to the child at this moment?"

After a moment's pause, he replied, "No, Captain."

"Chakotay, I understand what you're doing, I really do. But I would be lying if I said I didn't have reservations. I don't like the idea of you being down there without a way to contact us."

The men watched her pace the room and come to rest leaning against the table, her arms folded. "You weren't in that meeting, Chakotay. The Imati are very emotional about this. Your attendance at their council alone may provoke… violence."

"The Imati are not a violent people," Chakotay dismissed her words.

"Neither are you, Chakotay," Kathryn said, her voice barely audible. "But I've seen you fight when necessary. I've even seen you kill."

His jaw twitched with anger, but he remained silent. Janeway's expression softened, and she reached out a hand to touch his arm. "You're more than just my first officer, Chakotay, you're my friend. I am concerned for your safety."

His anger melted away.

"You have permission to leave the ship. I expect you to contact us when the Council is over."

"Aye, Captain. And Kathryn…thank you," Chakotay said.

The two shared a brief hug, which was interrupted by the Doctor. "I would like to examine you both before you leave," he said.

Chakotay nodded, then turned and left the room.

* * *

Evening was falling, and the Imati village was eerily quiet. Sifa and Chakotay materialized just outside her house. After a quick look around, they walked together to the porch and entered.

"Morwen said you would come," T'Lea said upon seeing them.

"It is important," Sifa told him, nodding.

"Are you back, now? Are you of the People again?"

Sifa grimaced and took comfort in the strength of Chakotay's hand entwined with hers. "I am of the People, my son," she said, "But Chakotay is not. That will never change, for either of us. But tonight's discussion may help us… to compromise."

"It may drive a wedge between you," T'Lea said, wise beyond his years.

"We have bonded, T'Lea. Nothing will ever separate our hearts, not even death."

He turned away, then, reminded of his father. "I'll see you at the circle," he said before leaving them alone. Sifa turned to Chakotay, her eyes searching his.

Chakotay took her in his arms. "You should eat something," he reminded her. "Even if you don't feel like it, the baby…"

She nodded. Chakotay swiped his hand gently over her cheek and touched his lips to hers. They made their way together to the kitchen.

* * *

The group assembled in the prayer circle. A representative from every household was there, both men and women. They began with a communal song, a prayer of blessing for the People, for harmony and peace. A silence fell over the group as they waited for Morwen to speak. The silence was broken only by the rustling of clothing or a quiet cough.

Morwen was silent for a long time as he gathered his words in his mind. Finally, his voice cracked the silence, thunderous in spite of his quiet tone. "We are all Imati," he began. "We are one people. As we speak here tonight, I ask that each of us bear that in mind. My words, my thoughts may differ from that of my brother, but it does not change the fact that we are brothers." He let the words sink in before continuing.

"We are in the midst of a great event in the history of our People. The Others have returned to us… perhaps they are not the same ones who left our village so long ago, or perhaps they are and they have experienced changes over time that we could not have foreseen. Regardless, they are the Others, and they are here, presenting us with a challenge we did not expect."

"Most of you have met my brother Chakotay. He is one of the Others, and yet I believe most of you recognize that he is also of the People." A murmur rose up through the group.

Sifa reached out for Chakotay's hand.

"If you have words to speak, let them be heard," Morwen warned.

"He is the reason our ways are threatened!" cried one woman. "He has brought strife and suffering upon us!"

He read the woman's body language, and heard the anger in her words. "It was never my desire to bring suffering to the Imati," Chakotay countered. Without his communicator, his words were foreign to the group. Chakotay looked to Sifa, who spoke for him.

"Chakotay did not wish to cause us pain," she said. "As my brother said, he is, in his heart, of the People. What has brought us here was an act of oneness. In the ways of our people, that is never cause for sadness." Silence fell upon the group once again.

"Some of our brothers and sisters have been to Voyager," Morwen said. "Some wish to join the others."

One of the builders spoke. "We have spent generations living as if we had the best of everything. I have seen Voyager. I have seen what our ancestors rejected. All my life, I studied the Book of Building, but I never truly understood it until I walked the corridors of that ship. We could be free of the perils nature casts upon us. Haven's mother would not have been killed by the tornado. Her home could have been built to withstand that." Another murmur rose in the circle.

"And so you choose to leave your Mother and your sister, Dellion?" The first woman challenged him.

The builder replied angrily. "I do not choose to leave anyone. But if they choose to keep living in ignorance, when all the secret powers of the world are at our fingertips, I will be forced to go."

Several people spoke at once. Tempers were flaring.

Sifa caught a few angry words cast in her direction and shrank into Chakotay's arms. He did not understand the words, but he understood his wife. He held her protectively, his eyes darting around the circle, looking for the ones who had sided against them.

A song rose up, one voice, young and strong. T'Lea sang loudly, and Morwen joined, followed by Sifa and then other members of the tribe. The song brought the group back together. They sang in unison, every member of the tribe. Chakotay recognized the names Adonna and Garen, even though he understood none of the other words.

The silence prevailed once more.

Morwen spoke again. "Our people have faced this before. The People chose to set aside the technology. We shall hear from those who choose the same."

T'Lea cleared his throat. "I am of the People," he announced. "I too, have seen Voyager. I have traveled faster than the eye can see from here to the heavens. I have seen the place of perpetual day. I have walked on hand built floors, level to the point of perfection. I have seen plants growing in air. This is not the world I was born for. I was born to run, to fall, to swim, and to thank the Spirits for the joys of nature. I have been in harmony with Garen. Garen was not on Voyager. My life would serve no purpose there."

"But you did not see the holodeck!" another builder shouted.

Chakotay heard that word, and had a sense of what they were discussing. Morwen spoke again. "On Voyager," he began, and the group fell silent, listening, "there are many wonders we have studied but never seen. We saw the holodeck, and for a moment, thought we were at home, with Garen. But it was only illusion. Just as the story of Ilchua, we are taught to live in illusion is treacherous." The group considered his words, remembering the story of the madness which befell the woman Ilchua when she chose to live in her own fantasy that her family had never died.

Morwen continued. "There is no night, no day on Voyager. There is no time, except that which is spoken from one person to another. I live my life by the rotation of this planet. I know when to rise, when to pray, when to eat, when to sleep. I know when to celebrate my ancestors by the coming of the snows. Voyager has only the illusion of time and changing of seasons. I would be lost there."

A tear fell from her eye as she thought about her son's and her brother's words. Sifa caressed her belly and mourned over what she should do. She felt Chakotay's hand over hers, caressing the unborn child, and her heart lightened.

The group began to argue over how the Others lived with no time and no seasons, and again, angry words hurled in the direction of Chakotay.

"There is another possibility," a woman shouted. "We could bring some technology to our village. A compromise. We could live as Imati, in our village, but with stronger homes, with faster healing."

"Our ancestors rejected that," Morwen said quietly. "It is time for us to consider why."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

The discussions continued throughout the night, and ended with the sharing of a meal in the morning. Sifa was dead on her feet, tired from a night of no sleep, compounded by the extra work her body was doing in pregnancy. Chakotay walked her home and put her to bed. He attached his communicator to his shirt and joined her in the bed. Before she allowed herself to sleep, she held her hand to his cheek.

He held a hand to her cheek, as well. Now wearing his communicator, the universal translator was there to assist him.

"You don't know what was said." Worry was written on her face.

"I know enough," he replied. "I knew a few words… more than that, I know people. I followed it well enough," he said. "Sifa." He gazed into her eyes. "Sifa, I'll stay with you. I'll stay here with your family, with your people."

"But without the technology…?"

"It will take some adjustment," he admitted, "but I can't ask you to leave your family—not like this."

"You will be leaving yours."

He smiled sadly. "I left mine long ago. And to be honest, I've no way of knowing if I'll ever see them again. The people on Voyager, my friends… they'll understand." He kissed her then, and she fell asleep.

Chakotay slipped out of the bed and walked into the other room. He tapped his badge. "Chakotay to Voyager."

"Go ahead, Chakotay," Janeway said. "How'd it go?"

"It was a night of heavy discussion, Captain. We will be going back again tonight. Captain, I need to see you. I need to speak with you privately."

Janeway knew intuitively what he wanted to talk to her about, and her heart sank. "We'll talk in my quarters. Prepare to beam aboard, Chakotay."

"Aye, Captain." For a microsecond, he felt the familiar sensation of being spirit without body, and wondered again, as he always did, if that is what the afterlife feels like. Chakotay reappeared at the transporter room and made his way quickly to the Captain's quarters. He made the alert chime, and almost immediately, her door swished open.

"Come in, Chakotay." She noticed right away how tired he was, and she worried for a moment that the night may have impacted his recovery. "Can I get you something? A coffee, perhaps?"

"No thank you, Kathryn, I need to sleep when we've finished here."

Sitting down, she patted cushion beside her on the sofa. Chakotay sat down. "Sifa and I have made a decision," he said.

She wanted to speak, to tell him she already knew, to stop him from saying it because maybe that would stop him from doing it… but Kathryn remained silent.

"I'm going to join her on the planet. I can't ask her to leave her family, Captain, and I have a son of my own to consider…"

"Oh, Chakotay," the Captain whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "I had so hoped you would have stayed with us."

"I'm sorry, Kathryn. As hard as it is to leave you, I… I have to do right by my wife and son." Chakotay, too, was getting emotional. He cleared his throat. "I can't ask you to wait for me any longer. You have your own families to think about."

"We'll stay a bit longer," Janeway said. "Long enough to have a proper goodbye." After a small silence, she held out her arms and the two hugged. Shrugging off the emotion, the Captain stood and straightened her uniform. "Now. You need to get some sleep. Contact me again tomorrow morning," she said.

He nodded, too emotional to speak.

* * *

Chakotay returned to the planet right away. The morning sun was bright on the planet, and most of the village was still, except for a few families with small children. Children always seemed to get up with the sun. He recognized the girl as the one they'd rescued from the swollen river. For a moment, Chakotay watched her as she helped her mother pull weeds from the path that led to their house. For a moment, he imagined his own son working beside him, and he was satisfied with his decision.

Sifa was sound asleep, though the warmth of the sun was too much for her along with her blankets. There was sweat in her hair. He turned the covers down, leaving only one over her and climbed in beside her. With his mouth against the soft skin of her neck, he though he'd never belonged anywhere else. "I love you," he whispered. In an instant, he was asleep.

* * *

"I don't know if you've heard the latest rumor," Tom said.

B'Elanna was working, and as much as she loved to hear the gossip on the ship, while she was working was not the time for it. She moved quickly from one station in engineering to the next, forcing Tom to follow on her heels.

"B'Elanna, it's about Chakotay," he said quietly so the others nearby wouldn't hear.

She stopped in her tracks. "What is it?"

"He's leaving Voyager. He's going to stay with the Imati."

She scoffed. "Just like that." Tom nodded sincerely and she shook her head. "He wouldn't make a decision like that so quickly. He wouldn't just choose them over us without giving it a lot of thought."

"Still," Tom said. "It seems to be true."

"Where did you get this information, anyway?"

"Neelix."

She rolled her eyes.

"Who overheard Tuvok."

Now she was concerned.

"Tuvok is bound to take over as First Officer. You know he would be the first one to know."

"Tuvok wouldn't breathe a word of it until the Captain or Chakotay told him he could."

"He was alone in the mess hall. Neelix said he was… editing his personal log. It was pure accident that Neelix overheard him. He'd forgotten to turn off the back burner, and he went in to check it and…"

"God, Tom? He would just leave us?"

Tom's expression was all the comfort he could give while on duty. "You have to admit, he has a pretty good reason."

"She could have just as easily come to live with us," B'Elanna snapped. "I don't like it. What if it's some kind of trick? What if they're just after what he knows?" Just as quickly, her mind shifted gears. "God, Tom, what if… he really does want to leave?"

Tom wanted to hold her in his arms, but he knew it wasn't the time or place. He hung his head for a moment, then gave her a sad smile. "Maybe it's not true. It is just a rumor," he said.

* * *

A/N Don't give up on them yet! More excitement to come, I promise!


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

When Chakotay awoke, she was no longer beside him. He rubbed his eyes and forced himself to get to his feet. He could see the sunlight coming in through the window. He walked slowly through the house and made his way to the yard. She was nowhere in sight.

Chakotay took care of his morning needs and prepared himself a cup of the Imati version of coffee. He sat on the back stoop, sipping from the mug and trying to shake off the headache that lingered.

After a while, he heard T'Lea approach from behind him. "You have eaten?" T'Lea asked.

Chakotay nodded. "I found some fruit on the table. Have you spoken to your mother?" he asked.

"She went to the bathhouse. I only saw her in passing."

"T'Lea, we have decided… to stay here. I will live with you, as Imati."

The young man smiled. "You will have much to learn," he said.

Chakotay gave him a grin. "I'm sure you'll be an excellent teacher."

T'Lea sat beside him on the porch in a companionable silence. Most of the day had passed while they slept. "I heard there were tracks of a buck in the woods," he said.

"Oh?" Chakotay finished his drink and set the cup down.

"I could use more practice tracking," T'Lea said.

"I think I'm a bit rusty, myself," Chakotay replied with a grin. The two got to their feet and headed for the woods.

* * *

B'Elanna was in the holodeck, fighting alongside simulated Klingon warriors, killing monstrous holograms one after the other. She was out of breath and panting, but as her last victim dropped to the ground, she cried, "Computer, increase difficulty to level 6." Immediately a new team of villians approached. She fought valiantly, disabling her opponent and slicing his throat with her bat'leth. One of her Klingon companions fell at the feet of his attacker and she turned, raising the weapon high to block his striking blow.

"Computer freeze program," Tom's voice rang out.

Disappointed, B'Elanna lowered the bat'leth and turned to him. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked him.

"I'm stopping you," he said, examining the cuts and bruises on her arms and face, "before you get yourself killed." It was just like B'Elanna to turn the safeties off.

"Mind your own business, Tom. I'm fine. Computer," she called as she raised her weapon over her head to ready herself.

"B'Elanna, that's enough. You've been here for hours."

"Either stand back or grab a weapon, Tom, you could get hurt. Computer, resume program." Her opponent's sword crashed against her bat'leth, sending off sparks.

Tom, unarmed, was forced to duck and run for cover. "Computer, freeze program."

She dropped her bat'leth to her side with a frustrated groan. "Just let me be, Tom!"

"Look, just because you're upset about Chakotay, that's no reason to try and get yourself killed!"

"Who says I'm upset?! Maybe I just needed to burn off some excess energy."

"B'Elanna! You know that isn't true."

"Computer, resume!" She shouted, and the battle began again. She ducked as the sword swished over her head and returned with a swipe from the right that was blocked at the last moment. As she continued to fight, one of the other Klingons fell and Tom was rushed by the other villain. Before he could get all the words out, a sword caught him in the shoulder.

"Computer, end program," Tom squeaked through his pain, and the holodeck returned to a simple grid, leaving him lying bleeding on the floor. B'Elanna was angry until she realized he was hurt. She rushed to his side and tapped her communicator. "Torres to sickbay. Medical Emergency. Transport Paris and I now!"

They materialized in the bay, Paris on a biobed, where the Doctor worked quickly to stabilize him. "Safeties off again, I see!" he complained as he continued to attend to Tom's needs. "I'm having a talk with the Captain. This kind of reckless foolishness should be banned."

She watched in silence until the Doctor finally slowed and stopped his ministrations. "How is he?" she asked.

The Doctor turned to her and ran his scanner over her cuts and bruises, as well. "He'll be fine, thanks to immediate care." He swapped his tricorder scanner for another tool and quickly repaired the deep cut on her bicep. "So will you, for that matter."

Tom sighed, and B'Elanna went around the doctor and took his hand. "Tom, I'm so sorry," she said.

He took a deep breath and sat up, rubbing the recently repaired place on his shoulder. "It's okay," he said. "I'm okay. Doctor, can I go?"

The Doctor scanned him one more time. "Yes. If you experience any difficulty, I'll expect to see you immediately."

"Sure, Doc."

Tom and B'Elanna walked together down the corridor to the turbolift. "I know it hurts, B'Elanna," he said in the privacy of the lift, "to lose a friend." He rubbed his shoulder again. "But we have to look at his side of things. He wants the best for his son. He has the chance to raise him… well, like his ancestors were raised. You know how important Chakotay's culture is to him. We have to see the good in this."

Her expression was sad but thoughtful. With a subtle nod, she told him what he needed to know: he'd gotten through.

* * *

Chakotay and T'Lea tracked the buck for an hour, but had yet to see him. They worked together, communicating with hand signals and an occasional whisper. Just as they felt they were closing in on him, voices rang out behind them. They turned, and Chakotay instinctively moved to shield the boy with his bulk.

"He says he is of the People, but look! He still carries the technology! It is a lie! He says one thing and does another!"

"You're the reason my brother is going to leave us forever!"

"No, you don't understand!" Chakotay protested. T'Lea stepped out from behind him and stood at his side, his fists clenched.

"And you, T'Lea?! You approve of his lies?!" Angrily the two Imati stepped forward. The larger one ripped the communicator off Chakotay's shirt. He reared back and through it with all his might. With a blip, it landed in the middle of the river.

Without his translator, Chakotay could not understand the man's words. He stood silently as the man leaned close to his face and spoke.

"Now you will live as the Imati, hmm? Now, you will have to live as you speak." The two men turned and walked away.

T'Lea turned to Chakotay and fingered the ripped cloth of his shirt. His words were foreign, but Chakotay had a sense of what he was saying. He moved the boy's hand away. "I'm okay," Chakotay said.

A chorus of shouting arose from the woods not far from them. Chakotay and T'Lea bolted towards the noise and then came to a skidding halt.

There, in the woods, was the buck they had been tracking. He lay dead at the foot of a steep hill, his neck broken.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The Imati men and Chakotay worked to preserve the meat and the hide from the animal's carcass. It was solemn work, not the same as when harvesting an animal from the hunt. There was a deep sadness filling the men, and they were unable to express their darkest thoughts.

As the sun set, they returned to their homes and washed up, preparing for the evening's council. Chakotay saw Sifa and greeted her warmly. She fingered the hole in his shirt and said something he didn't understand. T'Lea told her what happened, and her face drew up with worry.

Chakotay saw that she was flushed and pale, and he caressed her face with his hand. With his other hand, he touched her womb. "Are you all right?" he asked, but his words were incomprehensible to her.

Guessing at what he said, she pushed his hands away. She smiled for him, and grabbed a pin from the table, which she used to put up her hair. Then she took Chakotay by the hand and they walked to the prayer circle, followed by T'Lea.

* * *

"You asked to see me, Captain?" B'Elanna said, standing stiffly at attention.

"At ease, Lieutenant. The Doctor isn't running the ship, I am. I haven't restricted your holodeck privileges. I wanted to see you about something else."

"Captain?"

"B'Elanna, you've been friends with Chakotay for a long time."

B'Elanna sighed. "Yes. Is it true, Captain? Is he going to stay with them?"

Pain washed over Kathryn's face. "I'm afraid so. I'm sure he'd like to announce it to his friends personally, and I feel we owe him a formal goodbye. I was hoping you would take on that responsibility."

"Me? Captain, I'm not much of a party planner. And to be honest, I'm not too happy about his decision, either."

Janeway gave her a weak smile. "Neither am I. But he's a part of our… family… and I want to wish him the best in his new life." She saw that B'Elanna still had reservations. "It should be something heartfelt, as joyful as we can manage. Enlist Neelix's help if you want, but B'Elanna, he needs to know he has the blessing of his closest friends."

She lowered her gaze and nodded. "All right, Captain. I'll do it. When?"

"He was planning to stay on the planet again tonight. Perhaps as early as tomorrow or the day after. Then we will have to be on our way."

"Yes, Ma'am."

* * *

Sifa wasn't feeling well. She did her best to participate with the group, but she was hot and nauseated and uncomfortable. Chakotay was watching her with concern. He could feel the heat radiating from her back and into his hand.

Several hours had passed. The group had begun with another reminder from Morwen that they were one people, and then had sung the prayer to call Garen to their midst. A heavy silence befell them for a while, until one of the men who had carved the flesh from the buck spoke his mind. He felt it was an omen. He felt that the buck represented Garen, and that the division amongst the people caused the great animal's demise. If they continued on this path, Garen would leave them forever.

Chakotay was unable to follow the conversation that ensued. He simply knew too few words in the Imati language, and their nonverbal cues were much more subdued on this night. He tried to focus on Sifa instead. She shifted position, leaning into his arms. He felt her forehead, and his hand came back wet. She was running a fever. Chakotay looked to T'Lea, alarmed.

T'Lea finally glanced in Chakotay's direction and saw the fear on his face. He looked from Chakotay to his mother, and he grew concerned, as well. T'Lea quietly got up and walked around the circle until he was by her side. He whispered to her, but her responses did nothing to relieve him. In addition to the fever, she was experiencing severe cramps. He motioned to Chakotay, and there was a rustling as they half-carried her out of the prayer circle.

Chakotay read the concern on T'Lea's face, and he only worried more. He picked her up and carried her in his arms, following the boy to her house. They laid her in bed and Chakotay used a cool, damp cloth, to try and relieve her fever. T'Lea rummaged through Sifa's room until he found the Book of Healing.

Chakotay's heart was in his mouth as he watch the boy frantically searching the book, reading intently, flipping pages again… Something was terribly wrong, and Chakotay had no way to get her help. He couldn't even speak their language.

Sifa curled into a ball on her side and gasped in pain. T'Lea finally found what he was looking for. He read it several times, and then laid the book gently on the table.

"Mother," he said. "Mother, it is deshenten." When Sifa heard the words, she looked at the boy with grief-stricken eyes. He spoke a few more words to her and she began to sob. She reached for Chakotay, and her sorrow spread to him. Even without words, he knew.

Chakotay had no time to grieve, however. T'Lea was handing him things, showing him the diagrams in the book of healing. They had work to do if they were going to save her life.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

T'Lea sat, miserable, in the chair beside his mother. She was resting, thanks to the potion he'd given her. The bleeding had nearly stopped. He wiped his eyes for the hundredth time and leaned back in the chair, tapping the back of his head against the wall. He heard Chakotay enter the house. He heard the splashing of water in the basin and a few more anguished sobs from the man who'd just lost his only son.

Then Chakotay stood before him, the question he was unable to ask plainly written on his face. T'Lea nodded, touched his mother's cheek, and tried to smile. The relief the older man felt was clear. Chakotay took T'Lea in his arms and both men sobbed.

T'Lea mimed what the medicines were for, so Chakotay could care for her. Satisfied that the instructions were clear, he touched Chakotay's cheek and left the house.

"Sifa?" Chakotay said, though he didn't expect her to reply. "I buried him, Sifa. In a spot where Adonna reigns over the night. The trees are there to shelter him, and the bubbling of the river can be heard drifting up from the hollow below."

He shifted, and ran his fingers along the skin of her hand. "I wish I could talk to you, Sifa, I wish we could grieve together…" He looked down at the torn spot where his communicator had been. If he'd had it, maybe their child would have lived. Chakotay hung his head and ran the fingers of his free hand through his hair. He sat like that for a long time, until the first rays of sunshine came creeping across the floor.

The door opened, and Morwen entered, followed by T'Lea. They exchanged grave but quiet greetings. T'Lea examined his mother and actually smiled. She was better than when he left, and he was pleased to see her progress.

The two spoke to each other in their language, and Chakotay only knew that they were trying to console him. Morwen handed him a blanket and pointed toward the other bedroom.

He was tired, very tired. At the encouragement of the other man, he slowly made his way out of the room. It took a long time for sleep to come. His mind was filled with thoughts of what might have been.

* * *

"Chakotay called much earlier yesterday…" Janeway mused. She turned to Harry. "Ensign Kim, see if you can get a lock on his communicator. Maybe we can at least figure out what he's doing down there."

"Aye, Captain," Harry said, and worked the controls at his console. "That's strange," he muttered.

"Mr. Kim?" She asked.

"It can't be right…" he re-ran the scan. "Captain, I'm showing that he's… in the middle of the river. I ran the coordinates twice."

"Janeway to Chakotay," she said into her badge, without hesitation. "Chakotay, come in."

Harry worked the controls again, and soon was joined at his station by Tuvok. After Tuvok tried something, he looked to the Captain. "Captain, Janeway, I don't believe his communicator is on his person."

"Mr. Paris, arm yourself. Meet me in transporter room 3." She tapped her badge and ordered Torres to meet her there, as well. "Commander Tuvok, you have the bridge."

* * *

They materialized at the edge of the woods, their phasers at the ready. The sight that greeted them was not what they expected. The village was quiet, except for a few children out with their parents working and playing. The Imati village was peaceful.

"Tom…?" she said.

"Sifa's house is that one," he said, gesturing with his hand to a small cottage with a garden and a trickle of lazy smoke coming from the chimney.

"Lead the way," the Captain ordered, and the three moved out.

They walked cautiously into the village. No one moved to hide the children, and Tom was convinced there was no foul play involved. He holstered his phaser and walked right up to her door. He called out a greeting, and Morwen met him at the door.

"We were worried about Chakotay," Tom said, but the man's expression told him things were not good. The three officers entered the house, and Morwen invited them to sit by the hearth. "Chakotay is asleep. Last night… Sifa experienced deshenten… the child…"

"My God," Kathryn breathed, holding her hand to her mouth. "They lost the baby?"

Morwen nodded.

"But… why didn't he call for help? Our Doctor could have…"

T'Lea, roused by the voices, entered the room. "His…" he had no word for the communicator. T'Lea gestured to their badges. "Yesterday… someone took it from him. It was thrown."

"Into the river," Tom finished the sentence for him.

T'Lea nodded.

"Is Sifa all right?" the Captain asked. "Tom could examine her."

Morwen's eyes were appreciative. "She's in there," he said, pointing. B'Elanna was the only one who didn't go in. She looked at the boy and at his Uncle. "He was cut off from us, he couldn't do anything to save him."

"You people isolated him down here, and kept him from us when he needed us most!" she was angry.

"B'Elanna," came the Captain's stern voice.

B'Elanna clamped her mouth shut and stared at the floor. "I want to see him. I want to talk to Chakotay," she finally said.

"He is very tired," said Morwen.

"Where is he?" she demanded.

T'Lea pointed her in the direction of the spare room. After a few words to Morwen, the old man went back to his own house. T'Lea returned to his mother, who now had the attention of both Paris and the Captain.

"She's stable, Captain, but she lost a lot of blood. I can only imagine how painful it must have been." He turned to T'Lea, lifting a bowl from the bedside table. "You gave her this for the pain?" Tom asked.

T'Lea nodded. "I followed the Book," he explained. "She seems better," he said. "I think I did it right."

"You did," Tom said, checking his tricorder again. "She's going to recover from this."

T'Lea smiled with relief and rubbed his weary eyes. "Will you… stay with her?" he asked. "I haven't slept."

Captain Janeway was moved with emotion. She touched the boy's cheek, a gesture she'd seen the Imati do many times. "Tom will stay with her," she said. T'Lea smiled gratefully and went to his own room.

Chakotay was in a fitful sleep. B'Elanna didn't dare to wake him; it would only remind him that his worst nightmare was all too real. She simply sat beside him, her anger boiling and a deep sadness filling her.

"B'Elanna," the Captain spoke softly. When the woman turned, she said gently, "Let him sleep." B'Elanna rose and followed the Captain out of the room.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

When Chakotay awoke, he felt almost as ragged as he'd been when he went to sleep. He remembered everything immediately, and after allowing himself a few minutes to mourn again, he wondered about Sifa. The Commander rose from the bed and realized he'd slept in his clothes.

"Chakotay!" B'Elanna said, surprised to see him on his feet. He'd only slept a few hours.

He greeted her and the Captain quietly, somewhat disoriented to see them here. The Captain held his arm. "Chakotay, I'm so sorry."

Her words brought the pain back, full force, and he fought to keep himself from breaking down in front of her. He nodded his acceptance of her sympathy, and sputtered out, "Sifa…"

Kathryn smiled, trying to give him strength. "Tom's with her." She nudged him in the direction of the woman's room. Somehow, Chakotay managed to walk. He entered the room and Tom greeted him warmly.

"I've been in touch with the Doctor. He agrees with me, that T'Lea did everything right. She's improving steadily."

He swallowed hard and moved in closer. Tom vacated the chair at the bedside and Chakotay sat down, taking the woman's hand in his, caressing her forearm. "Sifa," he said.

B'Elanna and the Captain had followed him in. They stood behind him.

He kissed her hand, and then her wrist. "Sifa, honey, please…"

She stirred and B'Elanna hastily grabbed her communicator, unpinning it. She rushed forward and affixed it to Chakotay's shirt, just above the jagged tear in the fabric. Their eyes met for a moment, and B'Elanna nodded to him and backed away.

"Sifa…?" Chakotay said again. "Sifa, can you hear me?"

She sighed and when her eyes fell on him, she raised her hand from his grip and tried to touch his cheek. She was too weak to complete the gesture, and he raised her hand to his cheek so she would have to. Chakotay nuzzled against her hand, then turned his lips to her palm and kissed it.

"I'm sorry, Chakotay," she whispered.

"No… shhh… don't…" he protested, kissing her hand again. "It's not your fault… it's no one's fault…"

As the couple cried together, Kathryn slipped out of the room. Tom held B'Elanna, silent in the shadows, allowing Sifa and her husband as much privacy as they could. They spoke quietly, and finally Tom walked over to interrupt.

"Uhm, I just need to… uhm…" he held up the tricorder. Chakotay moved out of the way and Tom took a quick reading. Satisfied, he looked at Chakotay. "I'll be out in the other room if you need me." He turned and walked B'Elanna out.

Janeway was no longer by the hearth. Tom and B'Elanna sat down together, holding hands. "Tom, I want to be angry, but I just don't know who-"

"It was a tragedy. There is no one to blame."

"But his communicator!"

"If Chakotay'd thought it was that important, he would have fought for it."

"Chakotay would never fight these people."

"Exactly."

"We could have saved the baby."

There was an awkward pause, and Tom tilted his head as he replied. "Maybe. I'll leave that to the Doctor to say…"

"You don't think we could have saved him?"

"B'Elanna, maybe humans and Imati just aren't… compatible. You saw what Chakotay went through when he carried the baby. Maybe she couldn't do it, either."

B'Elanna sighed and leaned against him. Tom put his arm around her and kissed her hair.

* * *

Kathryn Janeway sat on the back stoop, looking one moment at the house garden and the next at the field leading to the forest, with the river snaking along to the East. The sun was warm, and flowers had popped up in the meadow, wildflowers of every color.

She had read the reports, and had met the Imati on Voyager. She'd thought she had understood what had appealed to Chakotay, what had helped him fall in love with Sifa, and with this place… but now, breathing the fresh clean air, looking out at the serene beauty that was nature at its finest, she knew. She could feel it, too.

Voyager was up there, orbiting the planet, waiting… waiting for someone to give the command to move on. She knew she should do it, she should order them to continue their journey home, but she couldn't leave her friend when he needed them most. She wasn't ready to give the order, yet, and this time it wasn't for selfish reasons.

Kathryn drew up her knees, buckling her hands around them, still gazing at the edge of the forest.

"You must be hungry," Morwen said.

She turned and gave the man a smile. His nap had done him good, and he looked more like the confident man she'd met on board ship. "It's beautiful here," she said.

Morwen glanced out at the place he called home. He smiled. "Yes, it is."

"I hope you know… I respect your way of life. My crew told me about their experiences here. Sitting here now, I'm tempted to stay, myself."

Morwen smiled. "You are welcome," he said. He sat down beside her. "But you are of the Others, as is Chakotay."

"Chakotay has decided to stay," she said, not sure if he'd told the man.

Morwen nodded. "I know the sacrifice he was willing to make."

She cocked her head towards him. "You think he's changed his mind?"

Morwen shrugged and gave a slight chuckle. "I am too old to think I can read a younger man's mind. I know that what has happened was powerful, for all of us. For the Imati people, for Sifa, and for Chakotay. I know it takes time to think about these things. I know it takes time to know one's heart."

"I'll stay as long as I can," she said quietly. "You know about Voyager? What happened to us?"

He nodded. "You are a long way from your home. I admire your people, their strength of spirit. In such circumstances, it would be easy to give up hope."

"I am proud of my crew," she agreed. "And I know that waiting here is hard on some of them… but I would do this for any of them, no matter their rank. I try to take care of my people." She knew that, as a leader, Morwen understood. They sat together in silence a while, and then he got back to his feet.

"Come. I will prepare a meal… for all of us." He gave her a hand to get to her feet and she followed him inside.

* * *

A/N Reviews still appreciated, wanted, and yes, well... needed! Please?


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

When Tom returned to check on Sifa, both she and Chakotay were asleep. His Commander had climbed into the bed beside her and was curled up at her side, one arm stretched across her chest.

Tom tried not to disturb them. He could tell Chakotay had given her another dose of medicine, which explained why she was sleeping. He was sleeping from pure exhaustion. Tom ran the tricorder over her body and checked the readings. Satisfied, he left the two alone in the room.

Morwen had a full meal laid out on the table. T'Lea had woken and joined them. Tom sat in the empty chair next to B'Elanna at the table.

The group sat quietly while Morwen said a prayer, and then they began to pass the dishes around.

"She's doing fine," Tom told the teen. "I just had a look at her. The incisions are healing nicely."

"Thank you for allowing me to rest," he said quietly. "I will tend to her after we've eaten. She will need new bandages."

"I can help you with that, if you'd like."

T'Lea shook his head. He wanted to help his mother preserve her privacy.

"Morwen, how did the Council go? Did your people come to a resolution?" Janeway asked.

Morwen took a deep breath before he spoke. "The Imati have decided to remain… Imati."

B'Elanna, without her universal translator, could only understand the Starfleet side of the conversation. She looked to Tom, who ignored her, listening intently to Morwen.

He told the story about the buck with the broken neck. He explained that the people agreed that they had gained much of value through their connection with Garen. The primary thing that they had because of this relationship with nature was harmony. Harmony with all things, and with each other. After a long discussion, the group came to a consensus that this was more important than the short term benefits of embracing technology.

Somehow, the way Morwen explained it, neither Janeway nor Paris took offense. B'Elanna poked Tom in the ribs. "Ow!" he said, turning to give her a warning glance.

"What did he say?" she asked.

Tom did his best to translate.

"They unanimously agreed to reject life with technology?" she said, astonished. "I mean, not even one person wants to…" Both Tom and the Captain stared at her until she was quiet.

"My mother does not yet know," T'Lea said. "Nor does Chakotay."

* * *

In the early evening, Chakotay awoke. After a few minutes ministering to his wife, he stood and walked through the house. T'Lea was in the kitchen, brewing a new batch of the potion that was helping Sifa to sleep through her pain.

"Your friends are in the garden," T'Lea told him. "My mother?"

"She is still sleeping," Chakotay said.

"I will sit with her. I think your friends wish to speak to you." He took the pot off the hot stove and set it on a cloth to cool.

Chakotay served himself leftovers from lunch and went outside with his bowl and cup.

"Chakotay," the Captain said, genuinely happy to see him.

"Kathryn," he said, settling down on the bench to eat his meal. "Tom, B'Elanna."

"How is she?" Kathryn asked.

He nodded. "She seems better," he said. Chakotay swallowed and his eyes drifted to the river.

"Have you heard the news?" Janeway said. "The outcome of the Council?"

Chakotay shook his head. Honestly, he'd completely forgotten about it.

She paraphrased what Morwen had said. Chakotay looked down at the communicator on his chest. Given the decision, even this would have to go, and permanently this time. He would have to learn to speak Imati.

"Kathryn," Chakotay said, "There are some things on the ship… things I will need…"

"There's no rush, Chakotay. Voyager will stay here as long as it takes," she said. "Did you want to go, or would you like one of us to?"

Chakotay was thoughtful a moment. "If someone could just get my prayer bundle." He thought for a moment about a pad with his personal log, but that was technology beyond what the Imati had accepted. "That's really all I need," he said.

"I'll do it," B'Elanna offered. "I'll get it for you, Chakotay."

"Tom, you go with her, come back in the morning." the Captain said. "I'll stay here tonight."

"Yes, Ma'am," Paris replied. He put an arm around B'Elanna and called the ship to beam them up.

After they dissolved into the air, Janeway looked at her friend. "Chakotay, is there anything I can do?"

His face filled with pain. "N-no…" he pushed the anguish back as far as he could, and then got up, walking with purpose towards the woods. Janeway looked on with concern.

* * *

Chakotay hiked briskly through the woods until he was breathing hard from the exertion. He traversed over to the riverbank, following a rarely used trail. Once at the river's edge, he dipped his hands in and splashed water on his face. He glanced around and saw a sandbar a little farther upriver. Chakotay walked up the bank, closer to the bar, and then waded the short distance to it.

He sat in the middle of the sand and drew his sacred symbols with his finger. Surrounded by the power of his ancestors, he raised up his voice in prayer.

"Acuchimoya. I am far from the sacred places of our grandfathers and from the bones of my people. But perhaps there is one powerful being who will embrace me and give me the answers I seek."

* * *

Janeway waited for an hour before deciding to track him down. She didn't like the way he was carrying himself. He seemed to be filled to the brim with sorrow and pain, but he seemed to be trying to hide it from the very people who could comfort him. She saw that the sun was beginning to set, and she decided to find him before his distracted mind got him into some kind of trouble.

She followed his trail to the river and saw him sitting in the middle of the sandbar in meditation. He didn't seem to have noticed that the water had risen around him.

Kathryn found a good place to cross and waded over to the break. She kneeled just outside of his circle. "Chakotay," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

He shook off the daze he was in and glanced her way. Then he said his closing prayer and carefully wiped the pictures from the sand with the flat of his hand.

"It's getting late," she said. "If the water rises any more, you'll find yourself in a mess."

"Oh," he said. "Uh… I lost track of time."

"C'mon, let's get you home," she said. She held out her hand and he got to his feet.

As they walked through the woods, he finally started to speak. Janeway had no words that would truly ease his pain, but she did listen. She stayed at his side and she gave him her full attention.

By the time they arrived back at the house, their clothes were almost dry and the sun was sinking on the horizon. Janeway sat by the fire and Chakotay was surprised to see Sifa walking slowly from the kitchen back toward the bedroom.

He took her in his arms.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Walking had caused her some pain, so he helped her back to the bed. She was propped up on pillows, and once he was satisfied she was comfortable, he climbed in to sit beside her.

They grasped hands, and he kissed her cheek. "The Imati have chosen," she began, "to remain with Garen."

"Yes," he said. "My Captain told me about it."

"It will be very hard for you," she said. Her eyes drifted to the technology he was still using. "You will have to learn our language."

"I know."

"You will have to say goodbye to your friends."

"I know."

"We can never have children."

This was something he hadn't considered.

"Chakotay, you are not Imati. You are human. And as twined as our hearts have become, you will never be Imati."

He suppressed a sob. "What are you saying?"

She held out her hand and cupped his cheek as his eyes filled with tears. "You must go back," she said.

His tears fell freely, now. "No, no!" He grasped both of her hands with his. "I love you, Sifa! You can't mean that!"

Silent tears fell from her eyes. "It would be torture for you here," she said. "Loving me," she said, "but unable to act on that feeling." Her voice became quieter. "It would be torture for me, too."

At those words, he felt like his heart had been torn in two.

"We've lost our child, Chakotay. I couldn't bear to lose another… or to lose you."

He knew she was right. As much as he loved her, he knew. They held each other and sobbed.

* * *

Tom & B'Elanna returned in the morning, carrying Chakotay's things. The Captain was at the table, having tea with Morwen and T'Lea. They greeted each other, and B'Elanna asked about Chakotay and Sifa.  
"They haven't woken yet," Janeway said. "I think they had a late night." She had been in the next room, and though she hadn't heard their words, she heard clearly the sounds of sorrow. "Join us," she said, gesturing to the empty chairs at the table.

Tom placed Chakotay's bundle on the chair by the hearth and sat at the table with the others. "I spoke with the Doctor," he said. "I showed him the tricorder data. He thinks…" He looked at Morwen and T'Lea and decided maybe it wasn't the best time to share the information.

The two Imati looked at him with interest, however. Captain Janeway spoke. "Go ahead, Tom. What did the Doctor think?"

"He said he thinks Sifa's body… rejected the baby, in the same way Chakotay's did. The Book of Healing didn't indicate that a child could survive being born that early. The Doctor doesn't think he could have saved him, either."

They all sat quietly, with sad comprehension. "T'Lea, he praised your work on your mother. He said you are a real Healer, just like Sifa."

T'Lea looked at his Uncle. He had long been in training as a healer, but was choosing a different path as a grower. There had, however, always been the understanding that if for some reason his mother couldn't perform her duty, he would take her place. This was a confirmation that he was ready for his responsibility.

The group scattered, tending to various tribal needs. Only the Starfleet members remained at Sifa's house. They busied themselves with household chores, trying to do anything they could to help her and her family.

Chakotay helped Sifa out of the room. She was walking more easily, and he only kept a hand around her to help her. She greeted the Voyager crew warmly, and thanked them for coming.

The couple was very quiet, and it wasn't until T'Lea had a woman of the village take Sifa for a bath that Chakotay finally spoke to his friends. "I'll be coming back to Voyager," he said, his voice like gravel.

They all looked at him in a kind of hopeful, excited shock.

"I just need another day or two with Sifa," he said. "And then I'll be coming… home." His words were met with the silence of unasked questions. "We… we spoke last night. It really is the best for everyone."

Kathryn was moved. She put her hand on Chakotay's shoulder. Gently, she fingered his comm badge. "You'll contact us if you need anything, Chakotay? Even if it's just a friend to lend an ear."

He nodded sadly. Tom handed him the prayer bundle and clapped him on the arm. B'Elanna gave him a hug. A few minutes later, they were gone.

* * *

The silversmith called out and was invited into Sifa's house. Chakotay and Sifa sat together waiting to see what he had done. He reverently unwrapped the cloth that protected his works of art. He handed one to Sifa and the other to Chakotay. They both examined them closely. They were prayer pendants, in the Imati tradition. Sifa's was much the same as her old one, but this new one had an addition. Under the Eagle was the pattern of Chakotay's tattoo. Satisfied, they looked lovingly at each other. Sifa touched her tribesman's cheek in thanks.

Alone together, Chakotay fastened the pendants to leather string. They went up to the roof, where they had once shared Enewi. The stars were out, glittering at them like rain made of diamonds. Chakotay lifted her necklace over her head. He adjusted the placement of the pendant over her heart, and then touched her cheek sweetly with a gentle hand.

He ducked his head, as she did the same for him. They held each other's faces, and then he moved closer, kissing her deeply. After a time, they went back into the house. Morwen and T'Lea were standing by the hearth. The men grasped each other firmly by the arms, and then, as a sign of closeness, Chakotay touched each of their cheeks.

He turned to Sifa once more, and tears filled his eyes as he touched his comm badge.

"Chakotay to Voyager," he said. "One to beam up." He was still staring at her as his physical body dissolved away.


	31. Chapter 31

Epilogue

The banner in the mess hall read "Welcome Home." Nearly all of the crew who weren't on duty were there, including Chakotay's closest friends. He stood before them, flanked by the Captain and B'Elanna, smiling sheepishly.

B'Elanna was wrapping up her speech. "I know these last few months have been very hard for you, Chakotay, but I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm happy you're home. This journey just wouldn't be the same without you." She raised her glass and the whole room toasted him.

After the cheers died down, Chakotay cleared his throat. He knew he was expected to say something, and he really had no idea what to say. He cleared his throat again, and Janeway put one hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze.

"I... I really am touched by all this," he began. "I want to thank you all... For this... But even more so for the patience and support you've shown me for the last few months. I'm sorry to have delayed our voyage..."

Several people muttered "no," and "it's all right."

Chakotay continued. "Voyager is a family, as the Captain is wont to say. You have all proved that to be true, and I thank you for it." He ducked his head downward, and Kathryn hugged him from the side.

Neelix announced that there was plenty of food left, and the group returned to their individual conversations. Chakotay ducked out of the hall, and B'Elanna followed him.

Harry approached Tom, his champagne glass in his hand. "Where's she going?"

Tom swirled what was left in his glass and said quietly. "Chakotay. I think maybe this was too much for him."

* * *

His door chirped, and Chakotay paused a moment, taking a breath. "Come," he said reluctantly.

B'Elanna walked in, giving him the once over. "I...I saw you leave. I thought it wouldn't hurt for you to have some company."

"Look, B'Elanna, thanks for the party and all..."

"Chakotay," she interrupted him, "No one is expecting you to be fine. We just wanted you to know that we care, that we're glad you're home."

He wiped his eyes with one hand, and B'Elanna took his other hand in her firm grip. Her arm bumped against his.

"I was... I was going to pray," he finally said.

"Go ahead," she said. "I won't interfere."

He gave her hand a squeeze and then let go, watching her walk around to sit on the chair.

Chakotay spread out his prayer bundle, with B'Elanna close by. She would stay with him until his prayers were done, until he was centered again.

"Acuchimoya," he began.

The End

* * *

A/N Thank you all for reading! I know it was pretty sad, but hopefully you enjoyed the read and there were a few surprises along the way. I hope you will do me the kindness of sending a review! Thanks!


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